St. Paddys Day is usually a sh*t show here in the States.
Every year ignorant frat boys and sorority sisters take to the streets to consume asinine amounts of alcohol for no logical reason other than because it’s what’s supposed to happen. When asked why they are celebrating, many will stare at you, crosseyed, and drunkenly fumble the phrase: “Because it’s St. Paddy’s Day!,” before toppling over. In actuality, St. Paddy’s is a religious holiday, meant to honor the life and death of Saint Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland. Without even realizing it, Americans have ruined the holiday, their drunken antics perpetuating hurtful stereotypes about the Irish people in the process. The Irish unsurprisingly resent the American St. Patricks Day celebration as a result.
With that said, it might be for the best that Americans are confined to their homes this St. Paddy’s Day. The usual toil and trouble the holiday brings can (mostly) be avoided, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need to celebrate at all. If you do plan on cracking one open in honor of the patron saint, make sure to avoid putting these tracks on your playlist. Each one listed here is overplayed or just plain disrespectful.
“Drunken Lullabies” by Flogging Molly
This manic drinking anthem is nonstop rip-roaring testosterone, and frat boys everywhere adore it. But “Drunken Lullabies” by Flogging Molly is so cramped with brutish noise that it frankly could be used as a Guantanamo Bay torture device. “Drunken Lullabies” rabid pace and blaring drums drown out everything else around it, and is guaranteed to give you a headache if put on full blast. By the way, no, this Celtic punk band is not the same group that wrote: “I’m Shipping Up To Boston.” More on those guys later.
Galway Girl by Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran sucks, we at Popdust have long believed that to be true. With that said, “Galway Girl” isn’t the antiseptic ginger crooner’s worst song by any means, but it still remains an abuse of Irish culture. Through lifeless bodhrán and uileann pipes, Sheeran yodels about meeting a great girl and dancing with her all night long. Throughout the track, he name drops Guiness, Jameson, and other Irish things like Van Morrison to show that he did his homework. It’s all barely digestible, and remember that if the girl you’re dancing with digs this song, then she is definitely too young for you.
“I’m Shipping Up To Boston” by The Dropkick Murphy’s
You know it, you loathe it, “I’m Shipping Up To Boston” is probably the most overplayed track each and every St. Patrick’s Day. It’s long been an anthem for Boston in particular, especially after it soundtracked The Departed, and has since been used and abused every St. Patricks day since. The abusive “aayyyyyyoooo’s,” the howling chorus, the only thing that saves the track from true condemnation is its brief runtime. Unless your drunk buddy decides to play it again.
“Irish Celebration” by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis
“Irish Celebration” sounds as generic as the title implies. Over whining synths and some brash horns, Macklemore raps some of the most milquetoast lyrics of his career to show solidarity with his fellow Irishmen. “I’m an Irishman,” he says. “Leather weathered Irish skin.” He then goes on to note other Irish stuff, like the colors of the flag, and that no one should try and steal their Lucky Charms.
“The Boys Are Back in Town” by Thin Lizzy
The anthem of douchebags everywhere, “The Boys Are Back In Town” has become so well-known for being the anthem of f*ckboi’s that it’s practically satirized itself. So much so that it was pegged as Dennis Reynolds and Mac McDonald’s favorite song in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. For the record, the song itself is terrible, and should only be listened to in the context of Sunny.
