“GOOBA” by 6ix9ine

The saga of 6ix9ine seems like it will never end. Upon being granted house arrest due to coronavirus, Tekashi 6ix9ine returned with more of the same hollow antagonisms and some of the worst bars of the year: “You’re mad I’m back, big mad, He’s mad, she’s mad, big sad, haha, don’t care, stay mad, ah-haha-ha-ha-ha, haha b*tch, I’m laughin’ cause you big mad.”

6ix9ine’s “GOOBA” is one of the most mind-numbing tracks to emerge in 2020, and somehow it’s remained one of the highest-charting records of the new year. As he accosts celebrities of all calibers on social media, 6ix9ine seems incapable of self-reflection and never seems to hit rock bottom. But does his half-witted music say more about him or us? That remains to be seen.

“Yummy” by Justin Bieber

The newly wifed-up devout Christian had one of the most anticipated returns in music. Five years of radio silence (minus a handful of features), Bieber teased his homecoming for months, at one point taking public surveys on Twitter to see if anyone was even interested in hearing from him again.

“Yummy,” his shallow, corny love song, does nothing but sexualize the apple of his eye with its predictable R&B formula, and horrendous cotton candy aesthetic. Not to mention, he was a total d*ck about promoting the damn thing. But all that aside, the song itself is ultimately forgettable and marked one of 2020’s most disappointing returns.

“I Love My Country” by Florida Georgia Line

Many people definitely do not love this country right now, but Florida Georgia Line does. The country-pop duo’s attempt at a unifying, patriotic anthem sounds inexplicably dated, not to mention they don’t seem to have a foot to stand on.

“Monday to Sunday, yeah, I love my country…I love my country, and I love my country up loud.” It all feels equally as forced as it is. For a variety of reasons in 2020 alone, America remains one of the worst places to live right now, and Florida Georgia Line can’t even sell you on a single reason as to why it’s great. Maybe the song is a bitter irony, perhaps they’re being sarcastic, maybe they’re just referring to the literal countryside, but the song remains so vague in its execution that I couldn’t tell you.

“So Long (Feat. Cam)” by Diplo

No one hopped on the “Old Town Road” bandwagon harder than Diplo. After a mundane remix of the viral hit, Diplo updated his wardrobe and is now often seen dawning cowboy spurs and a ten-gallon hat. But while Lil Nas X sonically moved away to greener, more interesting pastures, Diplo said, “Why don’t I make an album with 12 “Old Town Roads?”

The result was his uninspired Diplo Presents: Thomas Wesley Chapter 1: Snake Oil. It’s lead single, “So Long,” is devoid of any country twang. Sure, there are some fiddles that mettle in the background, but it’s a dance track–and a mundane one at that. But as the country/rap fad slowly dies out, let’s hope Chapter 2 doesn’t come to pass anytime soon.

“Genetics” by Meghan Trainor

This song was meant to be bold and risque; lyrics like, “How did you get that bod? Is it from God?” are meant to sound empowering. But on Meghan Trainor’s suffocating third album, it’s impossible to take any of the surface-level mediations seriously.

“My DNA is graded A. You see this face? I was born with it,” she sings over an overly crowded dance beat. “I ain’t ashamed to say one day I might upgrade.” Trainor keeps it all on the surface, and while empowering women is necessary in this day and age, spelling out “Genetics” like a sing-song cheerleader frankly makes everyone uncomfortable.

“Fresh Outta London” by Jake Paul

The same scumbag who was recently charged with looting an Arizona mall, had his home investigated by the FBI, and refuses to stop partying in the midst of quarantine also thought 2020 would be a good year to release “Fresh Outta London,” his latest installment in an unfortunate series of one-off singles about how rich he is and how many women he sleeps with.

Jake Paul might be one of the highest-grossing YouTubers in history, but to the surprise of nobody, “Fresh Outta London” is even less creative than any of his video concepts. “I’m lit, they know it / They wanna hate on the music, but I’m makin’ hits,” he raps in blatant AutoTune over a worn-out acoustic-trap beat. He proceeds with derogatory, sexist quips like “she gon’ say it’s love, but she know I want the sex / B*tch, don’t you dare leave a hickey on my neck,” as if you need any more reasons to hate him.

“Toosie Slide” by Drake

Drake could probably make a genuinely good hit in his sleep, which makes it all the more upsetting when he drops something as stale as “Toosie Slide.” Despite comparing his dance moves to Michael Jackson, “Toosie Slide” offers little inspiration to bust a move. “It go right foot up, left foot, slide / Left foot up, right foot, slide / Basically, I’m sayin’ either way, we ’bout to slide,” he mumbles over the chorus, making the track sound like nothing more than just a ploy to go viral on TikTok.

“Cancel Me” by Dominic Fike

The rap-pop of BROCKHAMPTON protege Dominic Fike is much easier on the ears than other songs on this list. But it’s hard to feel sorry for him when unpacking the lyrics of “Cancel Me,” a breezy track about how hard it is to be successful and live in Los Angeles. “I hope they cancel me / So I can go be with my family / So I can quit wearin’ this mask, dawg,” he sings in the chorus—a line that feels too particular to 2020 to have any lasting legacy.

Sure, it sucks to be away from your family caught up in the bustle of the entertainment industry, but “Cancel Me” reads particularly tone-deaf in the midst of the 2020 storm. When many of Fike’s peers in the music industry have been “canceled” over alarming, abusive behaviour, has he ever considered he could just…quit making music instead of being boycotted?