Oh, Olivia Culpo. How I wanted to pore over your wedding content in the deepest of green envy. You had it all: the hot football player husband, the equally It-Girl sisters, the star attendees. You could’ve had a
Sofia Richie moment, and instead we’re here.
On June 29, 2024, Miss Universe and model
Olivia Culpo and star running back for the San Francisco 49ers Christian McCaffrey invited their A-List friends to Watch Hill, Rhode Island for what was supposed to be the most spectacular wedding of the year.
As pictures slowly leaked – and with
Vogue onsite for full access – the Culpo-McCaffrey union had the potential to be the Pinterest wedding of your dreams. Everyone wanted to see the bride. Olivia Culpo has become a true style icon for her throngs of followers – regularly posting TikToks getting ready for McCaffrey’s games throwing on “cool girl” outfits.
So when her army of umbrellas fell and the world saw her first wedding dress…everyone was left with the same reaction:
that’s it???!!!
Surely, this must’ve been a ruse. No way would
the Olivia Culpo be dressed in a full-coverage, long-sleeve, high-neck Dolce & Gabbana wedding gown. No, there had to be something else and the public wasn’t allowed to take a glimpse yet.
But, actually, that dress
was chosen by Culpo as the dress of her dreams. And although she had three dresses in total (yes, all equally tacky or underwhelming for different reasons), social media full-on exploded. And Culpo and McCaffrey have made things exponentially worse.
The Problem With Olivia Culpo’s Wedding Dress
Well, there isn’t just one issue at hand. The first is the dress itself: are we serious? Dolce & Gabbana is
not the luxury brand I’d turn to for modern conservatism.
First and foremost,
Dolce & Gabbana isn’t exactly free of controversy. If you want the people to take you seriously, maybe don’t choose the brand that Elton John called to be canceled in 2015 for making comments against gay parenting.
It’s the middle of summer. If I’m getting married on the East Coast at the end of June, I’m going to be in something strapless. You bet your bottom dollar I’m showing a bit of clavicle. Because it’s
hot and I don’t want to be miserable.
But for Culpo, that was the whole point. And misery loves company it seems. You see, Olivia Culpo defended the dress by saying she didn’t want to “exude sex in any way, shape, or form.” She believes your wedding dress should be “serious” enough to match your “commitment.”
“When I think about Christian and what he loves and the moments that he thinks that I’m most beautiful, it’s absolutely in something like this: timeless, covered, and elegant.
And isn’t there something so
Handmaid’s Tale about wanting to be covered for your husband? I genuinely thought we were past this point in life. But hey, back to the 1950s we go!
Even more ironic is that, for the reception, Culpo changes into (essentially) a bodysuit with a mesh bubble wrapped around her waist. When stylist Kennedy Bingham made a viral TikTok response to Culpo’s fashion choices, Culpo got angry. And so did McCaffrey.
From Culpo: “Wow what an absolutely evil person you are. I hope no one ever tears you apart in this way because it’s extremely hurtful. I love this dress and it was everything I wanted and more.”
From McCaffrey: “What an evil thing to post online. I hope you can find joy and peace in the world, the way my beautiful wife does.”
I think “evil” may be two public figures name-calling a content creator for speaking the truth about the public’s opinion…but hey! Who am I to judge?
(I say seething with judgment.)
The Drama Continues
But Kennedy Bingham ruffled one too many feathers for Culpo and her court, it seems. Not only does Culpo berate Bingham for her evil acts, but she goes on to say that millions of people wear Dolce…she’s not the only one!
And while that may be a redeeming quality for Dolce in Culpo’s eyes, Bingham was quick to point out otherwise:
“They are not just a designer to you, they are a coworker … I’m also not saying YOU’RE anything. I’m saying that your actions allude to a certain mindset that you aren’t doing anything to contradict.”
And one more solid point that Bingham presents is Culpo’s emphasis on her natural makeup look. Yes, she makes the brave move of skipping out on mascara (but is wearing a full set of lashes) and ditches the lip liner (a dose of filler will do instead) for a more “natural” look.
I will hold for stifled laughter and eye rolls. Yes, the former Miss Universe who is no stranger to Botox and filler wanted you to focus on
natural beauty. And look, I’m not saying she’s ugly by any means or needs any further work done…but when you’re preaching natural beauty and realness, please save it.
If you want Botox, get Botox. If you want to wear a parka to your wedding in the middle of the summer, do it. If you want to wear a full beat to your wedding, do it. If you want to wear a bikini, wear a bikini.
But
don’t sell false beauty standards and harp on conserving your sexuality for your groom and then make it our problem when people disagree.
