America’s Royal Baby is here! No, Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift haven’t suddenly unveiled a secret pregnancy — our girl has been busy with the Eras Tour and trying to keep The Tortured Poets Department at number one. America’s other royal family, Justin Bieber and Hailey Bieber, have welcomed a new addition to their family: a baby boy.

On Friday, August 23rd, Justin announced their new arrival via the Instagram post of a lifetime: “WELCOME HOME / JACK BLUES BIEBER 🐻,” he posted alongside an image of their newborn’s foot cozied up in a blanket with Hailey’s beautifully manicured fingers. Like, I’m not crying, you’re crying.

Now I’m just waiting for Hailey’s post. While she was literally giving birth, her Instagram stories were full of promo posts for her brand Rhode Skin. Some people may call that a social media manager, I call it girlbossing.

Her pregnancy announcement post definitely had me in tears. We all remember where we were when we heard the news about Hailey Bieber’s pregnancy. I was browsing sunscreen in a beauty store (which feels appropriate) when my friend rushed up to me, waving her phone in my face. “Hailey is pregnant,” she announced as she showed me the now-infamous video.

The vintage-style video showed Bieber’s bump in a sheer white lace dress. At first, I thought it was footage from a music video. It turns out that their lives are just naturally cinematic. The footage was from their vow renewals which took place in Hawaii, where they celebrated six years of marriage.

Why did Justin Bieber name his son Jack?

You may have noticed that, like father like son, Justin and the baby have the same initials: JB. The name Jack Blues Bieber follows the tradition of Justin’s father’s side of the family, where many of the kids are given J names. Justin’s dad’s name is Jeremy, and his half-siblings are named Jaxon and Jazmyn.

Jack is also Justin’s dad’s middle name. Hailey is no stranger to family names, as her middle name, “Rhode,” is a family name — as well as the name of her eponymous skincare brand. It’s only a matter of time before baby Jack has one of those initial necklaces.

While Jack is a normal, regular person’s name, the baby’s middle name shows that even the Biebers have given in to the celebrity-name industrial complex. It used to be rare for celebrities to give their children unique (read: borderline obnoxious) names like Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter, Apple (sooooo brat). Heck, when the Kardashian-Wests came up with North and Beyoncé announced her daughter Blue Ivy, it was still big news.

But now, every baby announcement comes with the follow-up question: what weird name will the happy couple bestow upon their offspring? Instead of looking at baby name books, celebrity parents seem to open the dictionary and point to the first name they find. Young parents like Nara Smith are infamous for this. The model and token trad wife have children named (wait for it) Rumble Honey, Slim Easy, and Whimsy Lou.

Next to names like “Stormiiiiii,” Jack Blues is pretty normal. But it’s a sign that celeb names will always be celeb names. While the Biebers have fallen prey to the celebrity-name industrial complex, the fact they waited six years since their internet-breaking wedding in 2018 isn’t the norm.

How Hailey resisted the Hollywood Mom Machine — until now

In Hollywood years, six years is a long time to wait before having your first child. But in the real world — where the cost of living crisis makes me wonder how anyone can afford children — having children at 27 years old, if anything, is quite young.

Seemingly all of their famous peers have children. Most of the nepo baby gang now have children of their own. And the mothers are mothering. Kylie Jenner has two children — Stormi Webster, her 6-year-old daughter, and Aire Webster, her 2-year-old son— with rapper Travis Scott. Sofia Richie just celebrated her own 26th birthday alongside her daughter Eloise’s three-month birthday. Other peers like Keke Palmer, Gigi Hadid, and more have also become moms.

But Bieber wanted to wait. For a while, she just wanted to live in her bliss. She was a 21-year-old married to the biggest pop star in the world. Of course, she wanted time to enjoy it. Then, like the rest of us, she got a job. Except hers was as the founder of Rhode Skin. She spent the past few years proving it was more than just another celebrity brand. With its innovative, editor-approved products and its constantly selling out stock, Rhode is a success in every way.

So now, they have everything.

When asked about when they were planning to become parents, the Biebers have always said they wanted to wait. I’ll never forget when Justin went on Ellen in 2020, and she, as was her style, aggressively asked him what the “hold up” was with having kids.

But with the finesse he’s known for, he sidestepped the question with the most romantic answer: “I am going to have as many as Hailey wishes to push out. I’d love to have myself a little tribe. But, yeah, it’s her body and whatever she wants to do.” Pro-choice king.

But now it’s finally the right time. In a July interview with W Magazine, she shared some of her pregnancy anxieties — especially as someone who has struggled with ovarian cysts. “You see so many stories — traumatic birth stories, traumatic experiences—and I know that that’s very real,” she said. But in the end, she’s excited about her pregnancy — too excited to hide it from the world. “I probably could have hid it until the end,” she said. She even hid it for six months behind her signature oversized clothing — her jacket at Coachella makes a lot of sense now. “But I didn’t enjoy the stress of not being able to enjoy my pregnancy outwardly. I felt like I was hiding this big secret, and it didn’t feel good. I wanted the freedom to go out and live my life.”

Well, now the Biebers’ lives have changed forever. Many of us “One Less Lonely Girl” hopefuls might have dreamed of the day Justin became a father with us at his side. But if it’s not me, I’m glad it’s Hailey. You better believe I played the superstar and new father’s 2010 smash hit “Baby” on repeat all weekend.