The new Fast & Furious movie is finally coming out and it’s probably gonna be the best movie about juiced up men racing juiced up cars yet. If there’s one thing I love, it’s an exciting illegal street racing movie that, while action-packed, remains fully within the bounds of reality.
Let’s check out the trailer.
Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw – Official Trailer [HD]www.youtube.com
Wait. What? Why is Idris Elba a supervillain?
This makes zero sense. Fast & Furious is supposed to be about racing cars and sometimes heists. The villains are tough street punks and drug lords. Not Winter Soldier. If I wanted to see a Winter Soldier movie, I’d watch Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
I’m here to watch fast cars flip through the air and skid up walls, and instead Idris Elba is covering himself in laser beams, bragging, “I’m the peak of human evolution. Look at me punch through a metal door.” Where’s the realism in that? I’m 80% sure genetic testing hasn’t come that far yet, and I’m 100% sure that Idris Elba isn’t actually bulletproof.
The Fast & Furious franchise has always been about what’s really possible. You know, things like driving your car upside down and Tokyo drifting. Not stupid action movie schlock like jumping out a skyscraper window to punch a guy at mach speed. That is so obviously fake, and there’s not way any sane person could take such a ridiculous scene seriously.
For contrast, watch this scene from Furious 7:
Furious 7 (5/10) Movie CLIP – Cars Don’t Fly (2015) HDwww.youtube.com
That’s what real street racing is all about―the pure rush of driving your car through multiple buildings, getting hit with a rocket, and rolling out the door just in time to avoid plummeting to your fiery death. A street racing documentary couldn’t have been more precise. Now, with this Idris Elba bullshit, they’re trying to take that realism away.
Oh, and don’t even get me started about the part where The Rock throws a chair into the glass wall. CIA facilities almost always use reinforced glass for top-secret safety reasons. Glass like that is meant to stand up to bullets. The chance that it would shatter on impact with a hurled chair is frankly laughable. Do better.
Of course, if you just want to watch whatever this is instead of a highly realistic racing film, you can see Fast & Furious: Hobbs and Shaw in theaters on July, 26th.
Dan Kahan is a writer & screenwriter from Brooklyn, usually rocking a man bun. Find more at dankahanwriter.com
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