Musician Mark Ronson just came out as sapiosexual on Good Morning Britain, which means that the primary thing that attracts him to another person is their intelligence. But here’s the thing: How is that even a sexuality?
Look, I consider myself a very open-minded person. I think everyone should embrace their gender and sexuality and identity across all the possible spectrums. But when OutandPrideare both reporting on Ronson “coming out” as sapiosexual, I have to wonder if I’m missing something. Is this satire? Doesn’t “coming out” generally imply some degree of stigma or stakes surrounding the person’s identity, given the current social climate? How is being primarily attracted to intelligence any different from being attracted to any other non-physical trait?
People tend to be attracted to other people who share common interests. For plenty of people, emotional attraction is more important than physical attraction. If being primarily attracted to intelligence is a sexuality, is it also a sexuality if I’m primarily attracted to people who like anime?
I would understand if sapiosexuality also implied an inherent queerness, like being sexually attracted to intelligence regardless of gender. Of course, I’d argue that would still be pansexuality with a specific preference, but at least that would make “coming out” an applicable term. Except that doesn’t seem to be the case. You can apparently be sapiosexual and only attracted to the opposite gender. What about that is queer, exactly?
As far as I can tell, using a term like “coming out” for sapiosexuals is just co-opting language from actual queer people who face genuine danger and stigma when they come out.
That’s not to say the sentiment behind sapiosexuality isn’t valid. It’s totally cool to be primarily attracted to intelligence. In fact, according to Thought Catalog, I’m sapiosexual, too. Apparently, if I would “rather meet someone in a bookstore than a bar” and “bad grammar is one of [my] biggest turn offs,” that’s pretty much all it takes to be sapiosexual. Except, to be fair, I also do really like people who like anime, so I might be more of a weebosexual. There, now I’m out too.
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