From ‘A Family Affair’ to ‘The Idea of You’: Are These Age Gap Romances Truly Feminism?

There’s a lot to be said about the new Zac Efron romantic comedy on Netflix (and when it comes to Zac, I’ll always say it), A Family Affair.

First of all, the press tour has revealed a wealth of information about my dear Zac — and unlike with many movie stars, the more I know, the better. Just weeks ago, the internet was set ablaze when Zac revealed that his seminal, star-making performance of the hit “Bet On It” in High School Musical 2 was completely improvised. Beyond his critically acclaimed performance in The Iron Claw (famously snubbed by The Academy Awards), this info finally clued people into Efron’s true acting prowess.

He also revealed that “Get Your Head In The Game” from the original High School Musical was shot in one take. Is there anything this man can’t do? Mastering choreography while sinking baskets and giving us some of the most iconic Disney scenes of all time? Olivia Rodrigo, watch your back, Zac Efron is coming for the crown of Disney’s biggest musical success story. It’s also refreshing to hear a male movie star speak fondly of the projects he did in his youth for younger fans — Jacob Elordi, take note.

But beyond the revelations about the beloved HSM franchise — and the hints that Efron is itching to do another movie musical to recapture the magic of Hairspray and Greatest Showman — the most surprising thing about A Family Affair is that it’s kind of … good?

Let me be clear, I watched it purely because I’ll watch anything with Zac Efron. I watched the recent Amazon Studios film Ricky Stanicky starring Efron and John Cena, after all, and it certainly wasn’t for the plot. I can only watch The Paperboy so many times to get my fix of him and Nicole Kidman together (I’m an Evangelist for that movie — if you haven’t seen the underrated Lee Daniels masterpiece, run, don’t walk). But I didn’t have high hopes for A Family Affair. That was my mistake. Imagine my surprise when the film wasn’t merely tolerable but quite charming.

The reviews prove I’m not the only one who thought so.

Don't get me wrong, it’s not a cinematic masterpiece. Yet, I have no doubt that I’ll be returning to it as comfort entertainment many times in my future. It’s funny! It’s delightful! The acting is good enough to buoy the unfathomable plotlines. And it has enough heart to justify its more outrageous elements.

A Family Affair has officially joined the ranks of classic romantic comedies. But more notably, it’s joined the ranks of Hollywood's latest obsession: hot young dudes paired with fabulous older women. It's like The Graduate got a glow-up and decided to call itself feminism. And I’m all for feminism in mainstream movies — thank you, Barbie — I wonder about the limits of this genre and if it can deliver the promises it purports to make.

What is the A Family Affair movie about?

A Family Affair is not the 2009 Mary J. Blige song, much to my dismay. Rather, it’s Netflix’s latest rom-com effort starring Nicole Kidman and Disney Channel alum turned thirst-trap Zac Efron. At the center of their unconventional romance is Joey King, who you might know from The Kissing Booth or her awful accent in Bullet Train. Apparently, Joey’s graduated from Netflix teen rom-coms to... Netflix mom-coms (you heard that term here first!)

The premise? Kidman finds herself in an entanglement with Efron — her daughter's famous boss. Honestly, the most unbelievable thing about this is that King’s character goes from being a pretty terrible assistant to managing a company. Some ex-assistant definitely wrote this screenplay.

Semantics aside, A Family Affair is unexpectedly funny, engaging, and poignant in many ways. Just not the way it probably thinks. King goes from being wholly insufferable and selfish to learning that the world doesn’t revolve around her. Frankly, a lot more of these proto-girlboss characters need to experience the same harsh reality checks that King does in this film. Imagine if one of the characters in Lena Dunham’s Girls was told to their face that they were the worst. That’s what King goes through, and it shows a shift in the zeitgeist of narcissistic female characters paraded as simply chaotic yet relatable feminists. However, the film takes another would-be-feminist angle: the romance between Kidman, a 50-year-old writer, and Efron, a 34-year-old movie star. It’s played as a feminist milestone. But is it?

Watch the A Family Affair trailer here:

A Family Affair is not the only film pushing this take. In the past year alone, multiple movies are tapping into this leatest fantasy. It's like Eat, Pray, Love, but instead of finding yourself through travel, you find yourself through... Zac Efron's abs. Hey, whatever works, right?

It’s not just Netflix. Welcome to the boy-toy boom

At the core of this sexy storyline, there’s a deeper message that's been largely ignored by mainstream media: the idea that women can rediscover their sexuality and sense of self at any age.

Wasn’t that the same message of the early-summer smash, The Idea of You, featuring Anne Hathaway getting her groove back with a character based on Harry Styles? It seems the fantasy of dating a One Direction member isn't just for teenagers anymore. Moms can have their fan fiction-esque y/n moment, too.

And lets not forget that Gabrielle Union, queen of 90s rom-coms, starred in her own version of this too in last year’s The Perfect Find. Alongside Keith Powers, she played an ambitious 40-year-old career woman making a comeback while falling in love with a younger man. Based on the book by Tia Williams, it was poorly received by critics but beloved as a comfort movie by its target audience.

And it’s easy to understand why. There's something undeniably empowering when women — who society often tries to make invisible — take center stage in these romantic fantasies. It's a celebration of female sexuality that has no expiration date. It's saying that desire, passion, and yes, even silly, giddy infatuation aren't just the domain of the young.

There’s been a market for this kind of story for decades. Hollywood just kind of … forgot? The essential Eat, Pray, Love is the epitome of the post-divorce drama. Under the Tuscan Sun is for all the women who dream of leaving it all behind and buying a house in Italy, then finding love, of course. But the real blueprint is How Stella Got Her Groove Back, in which Angela Bassett goes on a restorative vacation and falls for the younger Taye Diggs.

Real-life seems to provide a plethora of examples of older women in recent relationships with younger men. However, from Jada Pinkett Smith’s entanglement with August to Cher and Madonna’s 39 and 35-year age gaps respectively, these might not be the greatest examples.

Yet, we take what we can get. Let's be real, in a world where women are constantly bombarded with messages about how to stay young, how to combat aging, and basically how to apologize for daring to continue existing past the age of 40 (which is not that old?), these movies feel like a breath of fresh air. They're saying: You're not past your prime, honey. You can still snag one of the internet’s boyfriends.

Subverting the genre

In a way, these “reverse” age-gaps are refreshing. For decades, we've been force-fed the tired narrative of older men with younger women. From Bond Girls to Woody Allen's entire filmography, Hollywood has been telling us that men age like fine wine while women don’t exist beyond 25 — just ask Leonardo DiCaprio.

Even now, looking at the age difference between many actors and their co-stars gives me the ick. Some of our favorite rom-coms are guilty of this too. Kiera Knightly was just 17 in Love, Actually. That says more than enough.

In that sense, these new films are giving a big middle finger to that tired old trope. They're saying, "Hey, women over 40 are still sexual beings! They can be desirable! They can desire!" And honestly? It's about damn time. They're starting conversations. They're challenging norms. And, as Hathaway asserted when taking the controversial role in The Idea of You, just because a woman isn’t in her twenties, doesn’t mean she can’t have interesting roles. And-so. This genre is giving actresses over 40 complex, sexy roles.

It’s also important to note that many of these films are written or produced by women. Gabrielle Union’s production company was behind both The Perfect Find and The Idea of You. And many of these storylines are sourced from books. So these are real women’s voices — and there’s clearly a market for it. But does that make it feminist?

To be or not to be a feminist narrative

While I champion the idea of women exploring their sexuality and finding themselves, why does a woman's journey of self-discovery have to revolve around a man? Are we still saying that to be fulfilled, a woman needs to be desired? Does her journey of self-discovery need to involve a man — even if it’s a younger, hotter one?

The problem isn't that these movies exist. Like any sweet treat, they’re easy and comforting and scratch a specific itch. There will always be a place in my heart for Zac Efron doing anything. The problem is that this genre is being touted as the apex of feminist cinema — which is taking up space that could be used for actual feminist art. Just like Barbie’s fickle feminism (which I loved, but barely said anything), we’ve seen how feminism-lite can get in the way of actual radical ideas.

Real feminism isn't just about flipping the script — it's about rewriting it entirely. It's about telling stories about women who are fully realized human beings, with lives, interests, and passions that exist independently of their relationships with men (or anyone else, for that matter).

So where does that leave us? These age-gap movies can be celebrated for giving us fresh narratives, but they're a starting point, not an end goal. We need stories that celebrate women's sexuality and desirability at all ages, yes. But we also need stories that celebrate women's intellect, ambition, friendships, and personal growth — stories that recognize that a woman's worth isn't tied to those who need or desire her but to who she is as a person.

So go ahead and enjoy A Family Affair and The Idea of You. Swoon over Zac Efron's abs and Nicholas Galitzine's accent. But remember, this is only the beginning.