It’s here; it’s finally here––the “Game of Thrones” Season 8 trailer we’ve all been waiting for!
You better believe it’s gonna be epic because this trailer has everything. It’s got Arya in a hallway. It’s got some close-ups of all our favorite characters. It’s got live horses. It’s got dead horses. It’s got dragons, which are kind of like toasty sky horses.
And we’ve learned absolutely nothing.
If you watched this trailer and thought, “Wow, Jon and Daenerys are working together, and all of the surviving characters are returning, and the undead army is finally coming from beyond the Wall, this is gonna be so cool!” then you probably also watched Season 7 so you knew all that already.
Seriously, what does this two-minute trailer offer? Some more army preparation that we spent half of the last season watching and an alarming number of close-ups of the actors’ faces. Also, the first time we saw the dragons flying like twelve seasons ago, that was a dopamine rush. But we’re used to them now. If you want to excite us with dragons, you need to do something new. Show them in action biting a dude’s head off or being a zombie or something. Just setting a shot of them flying to sweeping instrumentals isn’t epic anymore, it’s lazy. Treat us like the dragon-addicts we are and give us something fiery hot or icy fresh.
Speaking of which, where is Ghost? Ghost is by far the best character in “Game of Thrones,” and he deserved a spot in this trailer. The only possible excuse is that the upcoming “Game of Thrones” spin-off series is entirely about Ghost and his dog pals, in which case I’m sorry for what I said.
Otherwise, this trailer is lame and entirely pointless, as are all “hype trailers” that teach us nothing new about anything and only rely on cool shots (unless it’s the trailer for John Wick 3, which is very good and entirely necessary).
Who cares about a bunch of information we already know? Hopefully the new season will be a lot better than this snore-fest trailer. Don’t @ me.
Dan Kahan is a writer & screenwriter from Brooklyn, usually rocking a man bun. Find more at dankahanwriter.com
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