True or False: The Irish – at home, here, or abroad – love St. Patrick’s Day.
Answer: It’s complicated…
Most Irish folks and those of Irish descent are bonkers about Ireland. And why not? It’s a gorgeous country that has given the world an abundance of writers, poets, politicians, musicians, actors, and on and on.
What many of the Irish and their progeny don’t appreciate – here or abroad – is the raucous, drink-addled shenanigans and the tawdry StereO’Types that are the essence of a commercialized St. Patrick’s Day.
We all like a bit of fun. But the achievements of the Irish deserve the highest respect, not some of the shameful – if sometimes…amusing – products we uncovered.
In taking a quick breeze through American Amazon – There are 7 pages of shite . . 100s of atrocious Nifty O’Gifties that are offensive to any self-respecting Irisher:
Here are just a few morsels of Knick-Knack Paddywhackery – evidence of life on Planet Shamrockery:
Liam The Leprechaun Loves To Fart – by “Humor Heals Us” . . .
Liam The Leprechaun Loves To Fart – by “Humor Heals Us” . . .
via Amazon
Maybe this is one leprechaun you don’t want to catch. Considering dear Ol’ Liam is most likely on a leafy-green diet, it’s only natural that he tends to have a bit ‘O leafy-green gas.
“Lucky” Fanny Pack W/ 6 Drink Holders for St. Paddy’s Day
“Lucky” Fanny Pack W/ 6 Drink Holders for St. Paddy’s Day
via Amazon
Nothing quite says St. Paddy’s like a fanny pack O’Beer – actually, nothing should ever say that.
Actions speak louder than words, and while this fanny pack says LUCKY, we definitely cannot guarantee any lucky actions.
Drunk Cat T-Shirts
Drunk Cat T-Shirt
via Amazon
What’s with all the cat t-shirts? I wasn’t aware that March 17th was a major party day for our feline friends. Evidently, they ignore the catnip and go for the grain. Ever heard the old saying, “I’m drinking to forget?” It’s these t-shirts that need forgetting – and quick. Like this Ugly St. Patrick’s Day Cat Shamrock T-Shirt, the Irish Beer Cat T-Shirt St Patricks Day Drinking Shirt, and the Drunky McDrunkerson St. Patrick’s Day Cat T-Shirt.
Vegan Kisses
Shirtless Male St Pat’s Day Ad
PETA
Abstinence from meat is sexy. Refraining from corned beef earns you an extra seven minutes in heaven. Do with them what you will.
Why PETA insists on taking the raunchy route, we may never know. But why they decided to launch this billboard in Montana we definitely will never know. After Montana quickly shut him down, dear ol’ PETA O’Tool popped right back up in Manchester, New Hampshire where he was warmly welcomed with a Pint O’Plain (vegan, of course).Grumpy Auld Fella
Here’s a stalwart citizen of Ireland who’s had enough of the shamrockery and – like a good Dubliner – is ready to talk some trash. I needn’t tell yeh, this classic take went absolutely viral. Don’t mess with grumpy auld fellas.
Jamie Dornan Making a Tayto & Mayo Sandwich
Do not knock the Tayto.
While we understand why his particular sandwich may cause a ruckus, we can all agree that a sandwich requires texture. And what better texture than the best crunchy potato crisp on the planet? Tayto – Go Tayto Cheese & Onion or STAY HOME.
The Family Guy Lands in Ireland
So many things wrong with this.
1. As if a plane could land on that many beer bottles 2. It’s never that sunny in Ireland 3. Those bottles should be cans.
The Return O’ The Grumpy Auld Fella
“Get me the sick bucket”
A few days on – and after hitting social media superstardom – yer man’s back with further thoughts on . . . 40 Shades O’ Paddy’s Day Green.
After that load of eff-in’ nonsense, you might just need a pint of Guinness. On the 17th, let’s keep it classy and celebrate a great nation. Ireland deserves our best.
