Hell in a Cell is all about brutality.
Largely considered the WWE’s most exciting match-up gimmick, the annual Hell in a Cell battle pits big name wrestlers against each other within the confines of an inescapable cage. There are no disqualifications (DQs) or count-outs––the only path to victory is absolute domination of one’s opponent inside the ring. At its best, Hell in a Cell is the peak of WWE’s penchant for visceral action.
And then came Hell in a Cell 2019. The match-up seemed great: “The Fiend” Bray Wyatt, a hugely popular, horror movie-esque villain, vs. WWE superstar and defending champion Seth Rollins. Would Seth Rollins hold his champion title and bring down the seemingly unstoppable Fiend, or would The Fiend destroy the biggest name in wrestling?
Fans were hugely excited about the match, at least until the WWE broke its own Hell in a Cell rules. For a while, everything was going swimmingly. Fiend gave Rollins a beating. Then Rollins curb stomped Fiend like 8 times, but Fiend kept getting back up. So Rollins grabbed a sledgehammer.
Then, for some unfathomable reason, the ref stepped in and told Rollins not to use it. Why not? Who knows?But Rollins did it anyways and got disqualified. During Hell in a Cell. Which disallows DQs by design. Ex-f*cking-cuse me?
Maybe the WWE wanted The Fiend to win but also didn’t want Rollins to outright lose, so instead of making a choice, they tried to cop out and have it both ways. Regardless, it sucked, and now #CancelWWENetwork is trending on Twitter.
So in protestation of what might have been the worst conclusion in WWE history, here are a few other terrible endings to beloved things that still weren’t as bad as Hell in a Cell 2019.
Game of Thrones
The entire last season of Game of Thrones was absolute garbage. All logic and character motivation fell to the wayside as the leaders of Westeros chanted “Bran the Broken!” in favor of a spaced out weirdo with the personality of a high schooler who just discovered weed. But at least the Night King didn’t get DQed by some random ref for no reason.
Lost
Lost had an extremely unsatisfying conclusion. Not only did it fail to answer some of the series most pressing mysteries, but it tripped viewers up by suggesting a “sideways” reality that wasn’t technically “they were dead the whole time,” but was also pretty much “they were dead the whole time.” But at least Jack didn’t get DQed by some random ref for no reason.
Hell in a Cell 1998
Oh wait, no, that was amazing (although, to be fair, it did end pretty badly for Mankind). That’s what no holds barred WWE Hell in a Cell action is supposed to look like. Know why? Because the Undertaker didn’t get DQed by some random ref for no reason.
Yes, the Undertaker literally threw Mankind off the roof of the cell in 1998, but Rollins gets DQed for using a sledgehammer. Nice job WWE, great writing, 10/10. #CancelWWENetwork
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