Photo by Gabriella Clare Marino (Unsplash)

Three days into 2020 and we're already on the brink of World War 3.

If that's not proof we're living in the darkest timeline, I don't know what is. Luckily, considering nuclear warfare is the logical conclusion of this failed experiment called "human civilization," our species has already conceived plenty of potential guidelines for life in a deadly wasteland. These guides, better known as "post-apocalyptic movies," can help us prepare for the worst and, quite frankly, the most deserved end-times scenarios.

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CULTURE

The Decline of Trump's Twitter Account and Why Chrissy Teigen Is a Threat

Depressing data shows that Trump is, in fact, getting worse.

Chrissy Teigen

Photo by Kristin Callahan (Shutterstock)

At any given time, Donald Trump is ready to complain that he doesn't receive enough credit.

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CULTURE

Twitter Is Photoshopping Ivanka Trump into Famous Scenes and It's Great​ #UnwantedIvanka

Being someone's daughter is not a good enough qualification for public office, or anything else for that matter.

Twitter/ @moriiyanis

On June 29th, the French Presidential Palace released a video showing Ivanka Trump trying to insert herself into a conversation with world leaders at the G20 summit.

It's absolutely brutal.

UK Prime Minister Theresa May, French President Emmanuel Macron, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, and Chairwoman of the French International Monetary Fund (IMF) Christine Lagarde attempt to talk about serious world business. Donald Trump's nepotism-appointed-diplomat-daughter smiles and eagerly tries to contribute, but her complete lack of qualifications don't impress the world leaders, who ignore her completely save for a few timely side-eye glances.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who actually earned her position as a U.S. Representative, responded with an incredible burn: "It may be shocking to some, but being someone's daughter actually isn't a career qualification." Which, ya know, is right. Clearly world leaders don't care what Trump's umpteenth generation rich daughter who has never worked an honest day in her life has to say about anything.

As is often the case online, Twitter latched on to Ivanka's pathetic attempt at inserting herself where nobody wanted her, to imagine "What if Ivanka inserted herself in other famous moments in history, too?" Is there anything Ivanka wouldn't falsely believe she was qualified for? Let's find out.

Here's Ivanka on the moon. She's not wearing a spacesuit, so she's probably going to asphyxiate within a few seconds.

Here's Ivanka chilling with Anubis in the Egyptian underworld and as a lady at King Henry VIII's court.

Here's Ivanka peeping those old farmers.

Here's Ivanka pretending to help Dr. Bunsen Honeydew with science.

Here's Ivanka trying to get in on dat God finger.

Here's Ivanka in bed with John and Yoko.

Here's Ivanka on a construction beam after pretending to "work."

Here's Ivanka listening to MLK but still low-key being anti-busing.

Here's Ivanka next to Jesus himself at the actual Last Supper.

Here's Ivanka pretending to have friends.


Here's Ivanka, like, totally slumming it!

Here's Ivanka embracing her inner mean girl.

Here's Ivanka taking credit for the work of black women.

Here's Ivanka "fighting" on the frontlines.

This Tweet is just savage and so good.

Here's Ivanka on the Titanic, but don't worry, her dad sent a helicopter for her when it sank.

Here's Ivanka witnessing the love story of a lifetime.

Finally, here's Ivanka politicking, and this one isn't even photoshopped. Ivanka really does just insert herself in places she has no business being because, again, being someone's daughter is not a good qualification for world diplomacy.

Sports

THE OPTION | The North Heads South

Amid rising tensions, North and South Korea agree to march under one banner for the 2018 Winter Olympics.

Currently, President Trump and Kim Jung-Un are engaged in a protracted Twitter war, and tensions between Washington and Pyongyang are the highest they've been in decades. This isn't without cause however, as North Korea has successfully launched three ballistic missiles this year alone. On top of this, The Bulletin for Atomic Scientists' Doomsday Clock now reads 2 and 1/2 minutes to midnight, the closest it's been since the Cuban Missile Crisis. Despite the maelstrom, North and South Korea have managed to reconcile some of their differences over the past few weeks. Following a meeting with the International Olympics Committee this past weekend, the IOC president Thomas Bach announced that the two nations would walk out under the same banner during this year's opening ceremony.

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