My favorite song of all time is "Lover, You Should've Come Over" by Jeff Buckley. It's also my biggest red flag. The song is about a man who lets the love of his life get away for pretty much no reason. Some interpret it as a song about infidelity. I just say it's the toxic person's anthem. Our lonesome man knows he should treat his lover better, but he blames his youth for why he can't.
"Maybe I'm too young to keep good love from going wrong" is one of the best lyrics ever put to melody — but a cop-out is a cop-out.
While I'm not here to talk about breakup songs — you can find those here — I am here to muse about how art, whether it's film or cinema, can make it feel romantic to be kind of toxic. We see unhealthy, unrealistic portrayals of love all the time. We hear that we should stick by our lover no matter what. We see people, usually heroines, sacrificing themselves and their value for medicore men with good hair. Oh, to be a 90s movie heartthrob and have it all for doing nothing.
For example, the 2022 season 2 of White Lotus basically moralized playing games with your partner to keep them interested. We cheered on as characters deceived, manipulated, and cheated on their partners — most of them ending up happier than ever.
But this trope goes way further than the lifetime I've been waiting for White Lotus Season 3. The saying "All's fair in love and far," alludes to this sentiment: when it comes to love, we want to believe that the end justifies the means.
Whether or not this is true, on Valentine's Day we replace these notions with cliches like hearts and candy. Love is suddenly a sappy, saccharine affair about devotion and dedication. Even if you're toxic during the rest of the year, Valentine's Day begs you to be wholesome and happy.
I say, no, thank you. Valentine's Day makes me want to sink into the very bottom depths of my Jeff Buckley-inspired longing and dream of the kind of love Taylor Swift was talking about in "Cruel Summer" and "The Way I Love You." The kind that Jeff Buckley was screaming, crying, throwing up for. The kind that's codependent and problematic but hits so differently when you're in it.
Just for one day, let me be toxic. And let me start with these toxic romantic titles:
10 Things I Hate About You
It's in the title. Should hate be integral to love? I don't know, but I do know that I've never loved the "enemies to lovers" trope more than Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You. Their whole relationship is based on lies and invasions of her privacy all because she's a "shrew" — God forbid a girl read Sylvia Plath and back into your car on purpose. It's also an adaptation of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew, so here's the proof that toxic love goes back centuries. And we still can't get enough!
500 Days of Summer
500 Days of Summer is mostly toxic because it's so misunderstood. Joseph Gordon Levitt and Zooey Deschanel shaped a generation. Too bad most of us didn't understand how problematic JGL's character was when we first watched it. Let this be a warning: run from anyone who makes liking The Smiths their whole personality. Long live the manic pixie dream girl.
Closer
Speaking of manic pixie dream girls, nothing beats Natalie Portman in Garden State, and Closer. Closer edges out the former on the toxic-scale because no one is redeeming in this ensemble cast. Julia Roberts, Jude Law, and Clive Owen join Portman in the craziest, most compelling, love square filled with misunderstandings, missed connections, and a whole lot of lies.
The Family Stone
Speaking of love squares, The Family Stone takes keeping it in the family to a new level. Though this is technically a Christmas movie, it's larger-than-life plot and twisted, toxic take on accidental romance transcends the holiday. The all-star cast doesn't hurt either: Dermot Mulroney, Sarah Jessica Parker, Claire Danes, Diane Keaton, Rachel McAdams, Luke Wilson and Craig T. Nelson.
Forrest Gump
If you're doubtful about this film's place in the category, look beyond the warm and fuzzies the nostalgia gives you. It's a great movie, and Forrest might be wholesome, but just like that box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get. From his obsession with Jenny to her pretty much using him at the end when her life takes a turn, toxic romance really does span decades.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Ever get wrecked by a relationship so bad you feel like you need a lobotomy to forget about it? Yet somehow, the good times in these relationships feel the sweetest. What you need: a therapy session. Then, a rewatch of Tumblr favorite, Eternal Sunshine.
Stuck In Love
This movie follows the members of one family, recently wracked by divorce, as they try to find and keep love. Their stumbling attempts reflect their own traumas and how their family determined their relationships to others. All this to say: it's toxic on purpose, and that's enough for me. Logan Lerman is one of the few redeemable characters in this.
After
Anything that started as a Wattpad book is going to be the most toxic thing you've ever watched. Especially if it began as a One Direction fan fiction about Harry Styles. But if you're in the mood to actually rot your brain, start here.
Twilight
You knew this was coming. Beyond the Mormon propaganda of it all, this is just an insanely codependent relationship that rewired the brains of a whole generation at an early age. No wonder we all crave unreal, unhealthy relationships. Don't even get me started on Jacob and Renesmee.
Gone Girl
The fact that I think Gone Girl is romantic says everything you need to know. But they end up together in the end and that's what matters! Sorry to EmRata's character. Toxic recognizes toxic.
Jennifer's Body
Male manipulators, rise!
Hulu's High Fidelity
Honorable mention: While High Fidelity was originally a novel adapted into a movie starring John Cusack, the Hulu revival starring Zoe Kravitz and Da'Vine Joy Randolph is a force to be reckoned with. Kravitz as Rob is inspiring in her insufferable personality. And, of course, in her outfits. She inspired everyone in Bushwick to dress well and blame everyone else for their problems. My hero.
Whether I'm texting my friend Stacy–who has "all this pent up energy" since COVID-19 discontinued our improv classes–or talking to my girlfriend, one thing is clear: Nobody wants to have sex.
I initially believed this might just be a personal issue. Perhaps I was no longer a desirable mate due to the 43 pounds I'd put on since quarantine began in the US.
To get answers, I set out to conduct a survey of my current girlfriend, Becca, and four previous sex partners regarding their sexual preferences. The results? 100% claimed to have enjoyed sex with men "much bigger" than me. Still, Becca stated she hasn't felt satisfied "for a long time" in spite of my recent growth.
The Trump Rump Slump
Realizing the issue was far more complex and widespread than I thought, I decided to consult real sex experts.
In October 2016, Laura Beck published a study in Cosmopolitan Magazine: "I Haven't Had Sex in Weeks. I Blame Donald Trump." Beck theorized her libido "never stood a chance" against anxiety due to the presidential election and "disgust" with then presidential candidate, Donald Trump.
"On one hand, the thought of being touched by my husband, a man, after spending day upon never-ending day listening to Donald Trump's sexually assaultive language, is not a pleasant one. On the other, we are both so obsessed with the election that our combined anxiety is killing our sex drives." - Laura Beck, 2016
The solution, Beck's study concluded, was to make sure Donald J. Trump was never elected president. "On Nov. 9, I'll know I did my part, and then I'm gonna take a vacation and get so laid," she wrote.
The problem? Opponent Hillary Clinton won by only 3 million votes, making Donald Trump the 45th President of the United States.
Could America's swelling sex deficit really be traced all the way back to 2016? I reflected on my personal experiences of the past four years.
2016-2020 meditations on dating
Although high school and college and professional life were never very sexually active times for me, 2016 had started off promising.
In March of that year, I nearly completed a two month certificate program at Scratch DJ Academy in New York City. My downstairs neighbors had adopted a corgi and allowed me to take inexpensive photos with her for profile pictures on dating apps.
Even better, I bumped into my college roommate's ex-girlfriend, Stacy, at Strand Book Store on September 11th. As it turned out, Stacy loves music and dogs! She had to run and catch a train but told me I should swing by UCB sometime to see her improv group perform. Three weeks later, I was a student.
Then election season came and everything changed.
It felt like darkness had swept the country. The tension was palpable and it wasn't at all sexual. Sure, I had improv to cheer me up, but audiences couldn't even laugh at my performances because they were so depressed.
I too was depressed and my dating life was the first casualty. I tried talking to Stacy about it, which helped. She assured me that I was a really good friend and that I was going to find the right person one day. She saw me like one of her brothers, which was nice to hear at a time when women's distrust in most men was at an all time high.
Banging Across the Aisle
Dating, however, was increasingly difficult due to the political division in the US. One Pew Research Center study noted that "about seven-in-ten (71%)" of Democrats "definitely would not consider" dating someone that voted for Trump in 2016.
Luckily this did not apply to my way of thinking. Yes, I'm a registered Democrat, but I love sex more than I hate Trump. Surely conservatives, who often criticize liberals for being too close-minded and sensitive, would be open to a little donkey-play.
Unfortunately, that same study found that "roughly half of single-and-looking Republicans and Republican leaners (47%) say they probably or definitely wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who voted for Hillary Clinton, including 19% who say they definitely would not consider it."
It was as if fewer and fewer people wanted to have sex with me by the day.
I felt hopeless, but lo and behold, Stacy was right all along. In February of 2018, I began dating Becca, a Libertarian, and for two years we were okay as could be. She made me a more patient man, and I made her a sick "Individuals' Rights" mix she could listen to when she would go camping with her guy friends.
But by early 2020, things went from pretty okay to not okay.
COVID-19 and the New Age of Consent?
On January 20, 2020, only one week after I quit my day job to pursue DJing full time, the US reported its first confirmed case of COVID-19. Less than two months later, New York City had its first confirmed cases. By April, the city was on lockdown under strict "stay at home" orders.
All the festivals on my vision board were postponed indefinitely and money was tight. My landlord Henry was always a real stickler for people paying rent, and the Coronavirus recession provided no exception. Eventually, Becca agreed it would be tolerable for us both if I moved in with her.
Before the pandemic, sex was infrequent in our relationship. After the first couple weeks of dating, Becca got really into camping and was usually too sore from her trips to make love. Similarly, all my energy was going into my mixtapes. Now that we were both stuck home together without the things we care about, you'd think it would be sex o'clock 24/7. Well, you'd be wrong.
For a moment I thought maybe there was something wrong in our relationship. I began stress eating, which I washed down with stress drinking, which led to hangovers that I constantly needed to stress-sleep off. 43 pounds later, I found out Becca and I were not alone.
In September, the American Family Survey, an annual, nationwide study of 3,000 Americans by the Deseret News and the Center for the Study of Elections and Democracy at Brigham Young University, published their findings about couples' behavior in 2020:
Spouses or partners talked about political or social issues more, an increase of 6 percentage points in the last year and 12 points since 2015.
They had sex less often, a 5-point drop from last year and 10 points since 2015.
And they discussed their relationships less, declining 4 points since 2019 and 11 points since 2015.
The last point really hit home for me. Becca never wants to talk about our relationship or even acknowledge it publicly.
So what can we do to reverse this destructive trend?
"Stimulus Package"
2020 US Presidential Election results so far prove there is an unprecedented ideological division right now in our nation. Our political differences and economic anxieties are inflamed daily with toxic rhetoric that demonizes fellow citizens. In the end, both sides are left feeling alienated
However, if we get out of our tweets and into our sheets, we can fill our great divide.
Scratch DJ Academy taught me many things about leadership that can be applied to our current situation. In fact, in many ways, DJing a party is the exact same thing as being the leader of a large and diverse country.
A great DJ brings all people together, regardless of their political affiliations or musical beliefs.
A great DJ knows that while a room should never be silent, it should be filled with sounds of ecstasy and dance, not talking.
Finally, a great DJ knows, that deep down, everyone at the party truly just wants to get laid by the end of the night.
So, by the power nearly vested in me by the West Village chapter of Scratch DJ Academy in the Commonwealth of New York, I urge everyone: stop talking over each other and start moaning under each other. Tune out politics and get back to what really matters.
Don't let a pervert like Donald Trump, who famously said he would like to date his own daughter, turn you off of sex forever. Today's red and blue states can conceive the purple love children on which our nation's future depends.
United at the climax of 2020, let's say goodbye to Donald Trump, and give a new meaning to "neighbor against neighbor." ;)
Watching Michaela Coel's 'I May Destroy You' may be cathartic for the too many that have experienced trauma, but it's also a beautiful lesson in friendship.
While the show itself could be considered triggering because of its intimate tango with sexual trauma, Michaela Coel's I May Destroy You is spot on in its depiction of the inner, outer, and everything in-between forms that trauma morphs into as it takes life hostage.
The show revolves around the stories of three complex characters battling their own angels and demons: Arabella, a Ghanaian woman loosely-based on Coel IRL, her friend Kwame, a Ghanaian gay-identifying male, and Terry, her best friend. All three experience nuanced forms of sexual trauma and deal differently.
TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of sexual assault and rape.
Arabella oscillates between insight into and dissociation from her understandably erratic behaviors after being roofied and raped. Meanwhile, Kwame holds emotional intimacy at arm's length, paralyzed by his sexual assault at the hands of a man who he had previously chosen to have intercourse with. At the same time, Terry, "nurturer" extraordinaire, is re-processing being manipulated into a threesome, but tries to avoid her own trauma by focusing on her friends.
Watching I May Destroy you may be cathartic for the many people who have experienced trauma, but it's also a lesson on how to be a trauma-informed friend. While all three characters keep each other afloat, the show highlights Terry's especially trauma-informed manner towards main character Arabella.
So, what does a trauma-informed friend do?
Learns and Unlearns
In Episodes 1 and 2, Terry quickly recognized that Arabella was not acting like herself. Although the show didn't explicitly state this, Terry clearly educated herself on trauma, supportive friendships, and implicit biases in society (and ourselves) about sexual trauma. When using appropriate sources (and avoiding fake news), the internet offers plenty of valuable information that Terry may have used to understand the situation as a friend. Terry's learning and unlearning facilitated her support of Kwame's often ignored version of trauma, and her actions helped Arabella see possible harm in making a black and white distinction between survivor and not survivor.
Gives Space, Doesn't Judge
Terry provided space for Arabella to express her trauma when she was ready. She didn't judge Arabella for finding stability in social media advocacy (which eventually consumed her), when Arabella brought problematic friend Theo to her birthday, or when Arabella lost funding for her unwritten book. She listened when Arabella was ready to face the baggage underneath her bed, and when she needed company frequenting the bar from the night of the rape. This isn't to say a trauma-informed friend can't have feelings: there were times where Terry articulated her feelings – an eye roll about Theo, a light jab about social media. Those small moments said, without saying, "I may not agree, but I'm with you and I respect you."
Terry didn't take Arabella's self-centeredness personally, and she trusted the person – the Arabella – she was best friends with, or as they would say, "Your birth is my birth; your death is my death." Terry knew Arabella didn't want to be in the situation she had been put in, and she was trying her best to find her way out. It wasn't about Terry, even if she dealt with the consequences of Arabella going through the thick of her recovery. And even if Arabella was trying her best, Terry always reminded her that she could do better – she could write, she could grow, and she could find herself, even if it was a different self, again.
Empowers Their Friend to Make Independent Choices and Is There When Called Upon
Lack of choice during a traumatic event can shake up an individual's internal world. A man forcibly raped Arabella: she didn't have control, and this broke a fundamental trust she had in the world. Terry supported Arabella in learning from her own choices, while also providing tough love. On Halloween she requested Arabella not smoke or use social media during paint night, but she didn't walk away when Arabella wanted to do what she felt was best. She assisted Arabella in making a video requesting advice from a writer when Arabella asked for help, and was beside her during medical and forensic appointments. Terry refrained from providing advice, unless she felt the situation was dangerous, such as Arabella going to Italy to visit her toxic old flame.
Builds on Strengths – Trauma Survivors are Not Defined by Their Damage
It is common for people who have experienced trauma, because it can be so all-consuming, to have trouble separating themselves as distinct entities from their trauma. Arabella, while influenced by traumatic events external to herself, was not her rape. She was an intelligent, witty, fun, and loving human being with a burning passion for discovery, writing, and truth. Terry never lost sight of Arabella's strengths, even when Arabella did. Her strengths never ceased to exist, even when rusty or hidden. Terry was supportive of Arabella's forte in maintaining strong relationships and in using her own tenacity and grit to reconstruct her trauma story, as this was therapeutic for her. And in trying new methods – whether it was yoga, podcasts, social media, or support groups. Strengths can keep the thread we are hanging on intact.
Self-Care For Everyone
This one is probably the most well-known. Doing sh*t for ourselves helps us get out of ruts. And self-care doesn't mean we're making an excuse for not trying. Self-care is historically rooted in feminism as a way to regain the energy it takes to do the work. Terry enthusiastically arranged workouts and paint nights, and while at times she neglected herself by tending to others, Terry recognized that she needed to do her own processing: she wasn't wholly responsible for Arabella's life. Supporters are human too!
Loves Honestly and Authentically
Terry didn't always do honesty, but her love never left. Throughout the show, Terry was carrying immense guilt for telling Simon it was OK to leave Arabella that night, a secret she kept from Arabella until the season's very end. Did this make the rape Terry's fault? No. A woman should be able to go out without a man drugging and raping her. And while some of Terry's actions may have been born from guilt, they were most authentically rooted in love. Terry's love for Arabella came before her guilt or her need to help, and this is why Arabella so easily forgave Terry once she came clean. In fact, Terry's vulnerability was a form of love that allowed space for Arabella to be vulnerable too. And thanks to her own relentless work and in part thanks to Terry's unconditional love, Arabella slowly began to regain trust in the world again.
I know what you're thinking: being a trauma informed friend sounds daunting, perhaps impossible. It's no walk in the park, but in the end, never forget that love, when in its purest form, withstands mistakes.
Olivia Castriota is one of those names that just keeps cropping up in good places.
Whether she's turning up at another hip underground gig, leading a new Spotify playlist, or featuring in articles just like this one, she's got a knack for shining wherever you find her. New York's own R&B rising star charmed us with "
Weekend Lover," knocked us flat with "Kills Me," and gave us pause with "What Do You Stand For." Today Popdust premieres her latest drop, "Can't Wait to See You", which shows us yet another side of a multifaceted artist.
The blunt notes of the rhythm run in stark contrast to Castriota's sharp vocal line, giving the song an oil-and-water feel. So whilst yielding in one measure, the track also gives you a sense of building unease throughout.
This is confirmed in the verses of the song, where Castriota muses about a strained relationship with a lover and their difficulty finding time to enjoy one another. Late stage electric guitar notes give the song a new texture as it progresses, exacerbating the turmoil at its core. Castriota sings words of care over the musical storm. These dissonant tones rubbing up against one another blend the track's chilled out lo-fi experience with the powder keg sitting underneath it.
Castriota has always had a fantastic grasp of song shape and form. Each offering feels like its own particular world. Listening to her tracks back to back, you never feel like you've been conned into listening to the same song twice, as you do with some other artists. She's always diving into something new, exploring her sound, and finding new ways for the listener to experience her. She never creates a dull moment.
"Can't Wait to See You" is another great piece of work and heralds great things for the singer's upcoming EP "I Need A Minute". Olivia Castriota is, as ever, a rising star to keep a close eye on.
Certain musicians are blessed with the ability to hear, see, feel, or taste music, a variant of the neurological condition known as synesthesia.
While you don't need to have synesthesia in order to be a great musician, there seems to be a significant correlation between musicians capable of creating exceptionally impactful tunes and those who perceive sound in color. Here are some of the most noteworthy musicians with synesthesia:
Frank Ocean
Anyone who's heard Frank Ocean's Blonde knows that the album exists in more than one dimension, and this isn't an accident. Ocean sees colors associated with his music, and his album Channel Orange was inspired by the color he saw when he first fell in love (which was, obviously, orange).
Extra Minutes | How Lorde sees sound as colourwww.youtube.com
Lorde has described synesthesia as a driving force behind all her music, and like Ocean, she has sound-to-color synesthesia, which means all music has a color in her mind. "If a song's colors are too oppressive or ugly, sometimes I won't want to work on it," she once told MTV. "When we first started 'Tennis Court' we just had that pad playing the chords, and it was the worst textured tan colour, like really dated, and it made me feel sick, and then we figured out that prechorus and I started the lyric, and the song changed to all these incredible greens overnight!"
Even though he's blind, the musical legend and innovator Stevie Wonder can see the colors of his music in his head, which might explain why his music sounds so vast and rich.
The "Piano Man" singer can see the colors of the music that he plays, and it sounds like his perception is influenced by tempo and mood. "When I think of different types of melodies which are slower or softer, I think in terms of blues or greens," he said. "When I [see] a particularly vivid color, it is usually a strong melodic, strong rhythmic pattern which emerges at the same time," he said. "When I think of these songs, I think of vivid reds, oranges, and golds."
Billy Joel - Scenes from an Italian Restaurant (Official Audio)www.youtube.com
Kanye West
The brilliant musician and recently born-again Christian once said that all his music has a visual component. "Everything I sonically make is a painting," he said. "I see it. I see the importance and the value of everyone being able to experience a more beautiful life."
Kanye West - All Of The Lights ft. Rihanna, Kid Cudiwww.youtube.com
For West, visuals need to be compatible with the colors he hears in his head. "I see music in color and shapes and all and it's very important for me when I'm performing or doing a video that the visuals match up with the music – the colors, y'know," he said. "A lot of times it's a lonely piano [that] can look like a black and white visual to fit that emotion, even though pianos are blue to me and bass and snares are white; bass lines are like dark brown, dark purple."
The "Happy" singer (a yellow song if there ever was one) has been open about his synesthesia, and he has a very in-depth way of perceiving musical color. "There are seven basic colors: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet," he said. And those also correspond with musical notes…White, believe it or not, which gives you an octave is the blending of all the colors…" So that means chords would be blends of different shades, and harmonies would likely involve the blending of compatible colors. For Pharrell, synesthesia is instrumental to his creative process and to his worldview at large. "It's my only reference for understanding," he said. "I don't think I would have what some people would call talent and what I would call a gift. The ability to see and feel [this way] was a gift given to me that I did not have to have. And if it was taken from me suddenly I'm not sure that I could make music. I wouldn't be able to keep up with it. I wouldn't have a measure to understand."
Pharrell Williams - Happy (Official Music Video)www.youtube.com
Duke Ellington
For the jazz great, individual notes also have different colors—but their exact shades depend on who's playing them, not the note itself. "I hear a note by one of the fellows in the band and it's one color. I hear the same note played by someone else and it's a different color," he said. In addition to associating music with colors, he also sees sound as texture. "When I hear sustained musical tones, I see just about the same colors that you do, but I see them in textures," he added. "If Harry Carney is playing, D is dark blue burlap. If Johnny Hodges is playing, G becomes light blue satin."
From the sound of things, Tori Amos experiences music in a very dreamlike and psychedelic way. The singer-songwriter and piano prodigy has said that songwriting feels like chasing after light. "The song appears as light filament once I've cracked it. As long as I've been doing this, which is more than 35 years, I've never seen a duplicated song structure. I've never seen the same light creature in my life. Obviously, similar chord progressions follow similar light patterns…try to imagine the best kaleidoscope ever."
After hearing Blood Orange's saturated, vivid sonic craftsmanship, it's not hard to believe that its creator is synesthetic. However, for Dev Hynes, synesthesia isn't a walk in the park. "Imagine color streamers just bouncing around," he explained. "It's hard for me to focus at times because there's a lot of things floating around, pulling me away. Situations can become very overbearing and overwhelming."
Blood Orange - Dark & Handsome | A COLORS SHOWwww.youtube.com
Charli XCX
Synesthesia helps Charli XCX curate and shape her songs, and apparently, the pop queen favors sweeter, brighter colors. "I see music in colors. I love music that's black, pink, purple or red - but I hate music that's green, yellow or brown," she said.
"I have that condition, synesthesia. I see music in colors. That's how my synesthesia plays out," singer, rapper, actress, and legend Mary J. Blige explained succinctly.
Mary J. Blige - Be Without You (Official Music Video)www.youtube.com
Marina Diamandis
The former star of Marina and the Diamonds (who now goes by only Marina) apparently can see sound as color, but she also associates certain colors with days of the week. Her synesthesia also sometimes causes her to associate music with scents. "Mine usually only expresses itself in color association but I do smell strange scents out of the blue for no reason," she's said.
In Billie Eilish's technicolor universe, every sense bleeds into everything else, and things like numbers and days of the week have their own color palettes. "I think visually first with everything I do, and also I have synesthesia, so everything that I make I'm already thinking of what color it is, and what texture it is, and what day of the week it is, and what number it is, and what shape," she said in a YouTube Music video. "We both have it [she and brother, Finneas O'Connell], so we think about everything this way."
Billie Eilish - Ocean Eyes (Official Music Video)www.youtube.com
Alessia Cara
Alessia Cara thought that synesthesia was just something everybody had, until she realized not everyone could see sounds. "I didn't know that synesthesia was something that was, I guess, only a thing for some people," she said. "I thought that everybody kind of experienced it. So for me, it was just a natural pairing to my music. Everything audible was visual to me, and it still is. And so I think when I write, it's kind of cool to listen back and say, 'Well, this song feels kind of purple' — if a certain drum sound sounds purple and the song feels purple, then I know that they kind of match. It just really helps me figure out the whole package of a song." And like Kanye West, her synesthesia influences her visual content. "Even with videos — it helps me figure out what I want to do music video-wise," she added. "So it's definitely a strong aspect of my writing."
Synesthesia isn't reserved for 20th and 21st century legends. Many classical musicians possessed synesthetic abilities, such as the composer Franz Liszt, who apparently used to ask orchestra members to make their tone qualities "bluer" and would say things like, "That is a deep violet, please, depend on it! Not so rose!" While orchestra members thought he was joking, they soon realized that the musician could actually see colors in the music he created.
Thanks to streaming platforms like Netflix and Hulu, it was suddenly possible to watch multiple episodes of a single TV series in one sitting without the interruptions of commercials. As the way we watched TV changed, so too did the kind of shows we watched. Gone was the overabundance of vapid, sugary-sweet sitcoms, and in came the era of political satire, dramatic comedies, and searing commentaries on everything from abortion to Hollywood. Summarily, the 2010s saw a golden age of television. Here are our 50 favorites, with the top 25 and bottom 25 listed in alphabetical order.
The Top 25 TV Shows of the 2010s
Atlanta
Atlanta first aired in 2016, with Donald Glover's Earn learning that his cousin Alfred has released a hit song under the stage name Paper Boi. Since then, the show has followed Earn's struggle to navigate different worlds as he takes over managing his cousin's burgeoning music career while also trying to be a good father to his daughter, Lottie, and to prove himself to Van, his ex-girlfriend and Lottie's mother. The show uses varying perspectives to flesh out the city of Atlanta and the complexities of being black in America with surreal touches that highlight the real-world absurdity. Yet despite the heaviness of much of its subject matter, it frequently manages to be among the funniest shows on TV.
Barry
For anyone who ever wondered whether or not SNL-alum Bill Hader could carry a serious TV show, Barry answers with an overwhelming "yes." To be clear, Barry is technically a dark comedy, or perhaps a crime comedy-drama, but Bill Hader brings a level of unprecedented seriousness to his titular character that oftentimes makes the show feel like a straight tragedy.
Playing a hitman who wants to leave his life of crime behind in order to pursue a career in acting, Bill Hader imbues Barry with an earnestness that makes us as an audience truly want him to succeed. This likability serves to make Barry's violent acts all the more disturbing. Barry's greatest success is its ability to effortlessly fluctuate between the quirks of life as a struggling actor in LA and the violent inclinations of a man who murders for a living and can never really escape that truth. It's one of the best character studies currently on TV and is sure to cement Bill Hader as an extremely versatile A-list talent.
Baskets
Baskets premiered on FX in 2016, telling the story of Chip Baskets, an aspiring clown played by Zach Galifianakis, who is moving back to Bakersfield, California to live with his mother after a failed stint at clown school in Paris. Galfianakis' talent for melancholy slapstick makes the show by turns hilarious and touching, but it's his mother Christine Baskets—artfully portrayed by Louie Anderson—whose simple enthusiasm for small-town life makes the show one of the best of the decade. Watching Christine, Chip, and his twin brother Dale (also Galifianakis) heighten relatable family drama to exquisite absurdity never gets old.
Black Mirror
Nothing would be the same without Black Mirror. Though its later seasons have been inconsistent in quality, its earliest contributions were digital horror at its finest, with some of the episodes being downright visionary in terms of how accurately they predicted the near future. From the nostalgic visions of virtual afterlife in "San Junipero" to the eerie foresight of "Nosedive" and its digital ranking systems, Black Mirror made an indelible impact.
Bob's Burgers
Whatever you've heard about Family Guy or South Park, Bob's Burgers is the true successor to the golden age of The Simpsons. The Belcher family offers an update to The Simpsons' satirical view on middle class family life that reflects how America has changed since the 90s—slightly more urban, with less overt child abuse and a lot more economic precarity. And just as with the best seasons of The Simpsons, Bob's Burgers maintains a touching core of familial love and solidarity amid the absurd hijinks and veiled political commentary. Throw in the added value of the frequently hilarious, occasionally moving musical numbers, and Bob's Burgers easily secures a spot as one of the best shows of the decade.
Bojack Horseman
In terms of the quality of its writing, BoJack Horseman outdid itself season after season. What began as a parody of Hollywood's excesses quickly turned into a searing, and boundary-pushing meditation on depression, addiction, and what it means to change (or to be unable to). Increasingly self-aware and conscious of its hypocritical tendency to obsess over the misadventures of an evil but sympathetic celebrity, thereby glorifying them while criticizing them, BoJack Horseman is the political, devastating, timely, often hilarious show about an animated horse that none of us knew we needed. It's buoyed by the strength of its secondary characters, from the workaholic Princess Carolyn to asexual Todd to self-loathing Diane, and altogether the show takes deep-rooted fears that many share and refracts them in a funhouse mirror that's impossible to look away from.
Broad City
Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson began producing an independent web series about their struggles to "make it" in New York City in 2009. Soon, Amy Poehler took interest in the series, and it moved to Comedy Central in 2014. The smash hit comedy was not only laugh-out-loud funny, but a beautiful portrait of a genuinely healthy, supportive female friendship—something TV has historically seen little of. Broad City can be credited for helping to usher in a new generation of female comedy creators and has become a cultural touchstone for millenials.
Catastrophe
Catastrophe, created and written by the show's stars, Rob Delaney and Sharon Horgan, is one of the realest, grossest, and funniest takes on love and the mess of life. Two people entering middle age meet and hit it off, they spend a reckless night together, and when she gets pregnant, they decide to make things work—not realizing how complicated that will be. It's a simple enough premise, but the cutting dialogue and the absurd comedy that plays out as two near-strangers build a life together make Catastrophe one of a kind.
Fargo
Anthology series like True Detective and American Horror Story can be really hit or miss, but in the three seasons that have aired on FX since 2014, Fargo has been consistently great. Maybe it has to do with the leisurely production schedule, the all-star cast, or the near-perfect movie that forms the basis for its tone, but whatever the cause, Fargo delivers murderous midwestern tragicomedy better than any show on TV—and nearly as well as the original. Season three, which followed the rivalry of the Stussy brothers—as played by Ewan McGregor—deserves a particular call-out, with season four due next year and featuring Chris Rock, Timothy Olyphant, and Jason Schwartzman.
Fleabag
Phoebe Waller-Bridge's stage-play-turned-two-season-TV masterpiece took the world by storm at the end of the 2010s. In the series, the viewer is made into the protagonist's (an unnamed woman played by Bridge) confidante as she uses sex to cope with grief and complicated family dynamics. As the show progresses, the closely protected inner life of the protagonist begins to reveal itself. Many consider the second season to be an essentially perfect season of television, in large part because of the hot priest (played by Andrew Scott). Fleabag is a funny, searing commentary on what it means to exist as a sexual, complicated being in a world with ever-changing expectations of women.
Grace and Frankie
70 is the new 30, or 20, or whatever arbitrary year of life we as a culture are deciding to glorify for no reason, because age is just a number. If you weren't aware that Jane Fonda glowed with money or that Lily Tomlin is our collective spiritual mother, then Grace and Frankie enlightened you. When two septuagenarian women are told that their husbands are gay and in love with each other, the best phase of their lives begins.
Haikyu!!
It's almost 2020, the world is upside down, and yes, an anime about high school volleyball is genuinely one of the best shows of the decade. Haikyu!!, literally "Volleyball" in Japanese, is about the trials and tribulations of the Karasuno High School Boys Volleyball Team. Unlike pretty much every other high school sports anime out there, Haikyu!! takes a relatively realistic approach to...well...high schoolers playing sports. In doing so, Haikyu!! translates the genuine passion that goes into high school sports and the real dynamics of teamwork, better than any other show I've ever seen.
The protagonist, Hinata, isn't a superpowered Volleyball God; he's an extremely short boy who can't reach the top of the net, but works his butt off because he loves the game. Likewise, all the other boys in Haikyu!! have realistic strengths and weaknesses (both on and off the court) that they work to overcome with help from their teammates. Haikyu!! is an exercise in wholesomeness––there are no villains, just other kids at other schools who love the same sport our boys do––and in a decade full of so much bitterness, it's a much needed dose of medicine.
Hunter x Hunter
For anyone who likes long-running shonen anime, Hunter x Hunter is, without a doubt, the pinnacle of the genre. While the original manga began publication in 1998, and a previous anime adaptation ran from 1999-2001, the 2011 adaptation re-started the series from scratch and, most importantly, covered the Chimaera Ant arc (or season––kind of––for you non-anime watchers).
The entirety of Hunter x Hunter is fantastic, featuring likeable protagonists, dastardly villains, and a brilliantly creative power system called "Nen." But there's a reason the Chimaera Ant arc is often considered the greatest shonen arc ever, and that's because it's a total deconstruction of the genre's tropes and conventions. Everything from the "always optimistic protagonist" to "the ultimate evil villain" is turned completely inside-out. The Chimaera Ant arc is intensely brutal and ultimately poignant, making us question the very nature of what makes us human.
Killing Eve
Phoebe Waller-Bridge can do no wrong, and even if she could and did, I'd probably still clap. The combination of Waller-Bridge's cutting wit and Sandra Oh and Jodie Comer's flawless performances makes for a TV show that never quite lets you find your balance before sending you spinning again. It's dark and surreal, while managing to still be deeply human.
Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Being a professional stand-up comedienne is hard, but being Midge Maisel is wrapping chaos in a designer dress. Created by the fast-talking husband and wife behind Gilmore Girls, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel created a stage for Rachel Brosnahan to showcase her comedic timing and Alex Borstein to be a solid, deadpan pillar within Mrs. Maisel's world of quippy, fast-talking, energy. Also Michael Zegen (Joel) is dead cute.
Mob Psycho 100
While One Punch Man might be manga artist One's best known series (and is fantastic in its own right), his other series, Mob Psycho 100,is profound in a way quite unlike anything else I've seen. The show revolves around Mob, an awkward, unconfident middle school boy with god-like psychic powers. Any other shonen anime would use this premise as a gateway to epic battles (and there are a few, and their animation is absolutely incredible), but Mob Psycho 100 focuses far more on the coming-of-age angle instead.
See, Mob doesn't like his psychic powers because they make him feel weird. So instead of focusing on the one thing he's innately talented at but doesn't like, Mob tries to improve himself in the ways he actually cares about improving––making friends, talking to girls, working out with his school's Body Improvement Club. If anything, Mob's incredible psychic powers are a backdrop for the show's larger message––that no person, no matter what natural abilities they may have, is better than anyone else. Mob Psycho 100 shows that everyone has their own struggles, and that the only person you should ever hold yourself up in comparison to is the person you were yesterday.
The OA
Brit Marling and Zal Batmanglij's labyrinthine show only ran for two seasons, but it managed to earn a cult following during that time. Deeply weird, profoundly earnest, and full to the brim with observations on the connections between the environment, parallel universes, and technology, the two seasons that we do have are irreplaceable and paradigm-shifting examples of what TV could become, if we let ourselves believe.
Orange Is the New Black
Piper Kerman's post-grad rebellious stage went from a felony to a cultural touchstone. As Netflix's most-watched original series, OITNB boasted a female-led cast and cutting commentary on race, class, and the industrial prison complex.
PEN15
Those who didn't have a gruelingly awkward middle school experience are, by scientific evidence, simply inhuman. Maya Erskine and Anna Konkle tell it best in Hulu original PEN15, which co-stars the real-life BFFs (who also wrote and executive produced together) as 13-year-olds. Here, there's no sugarcoating the calamities of tweenhood, whether they're as trivial as thongs and AIM messaging or as weighty as race identity. All delivered with Erskine and Konkle's razor-sharp wit, it's absolutely hysterical to anyone who's lived past the seventh grade.
Rick and Morty
"To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head."
Okay, so first things first, we need to separate Rick and Morty from the Rick and Morty fandom. The Rick and Morty fandom is so annoying that memes making fun of them are barely distinguishable from the things they actually say. But, to be fair, Rick and Morty really is a great show full of smart writing, surprisingly deep characterization, and the exact kind of bizarre, abstract humor that lends itself perfectly to endless memes. No doubt, Rick and Morty will be the defining animated comedy of the 2010s.
Russian Doll
This tightly-wound and big-hearted thriller stars Natasha Lyonne as a jaded New Yorker who gets caught in a loop in time and has to relive the night of her 36th birthday party over and over again. A perfect blend of humor and seriousness, and riddled with quantum leaps and profound connections, it's as satisfying as it is provocative.
Shameless
We fell in love with the trainwreck family the Gallaghers when it debuted on Showtime in 2011. William H. Macy brought so much toxic charm to the abusive and neglectful father Frank Gallagher that we actually found him, if not likable, then good television. Emmy Rossum managed to cause tears and laughter within the same scene, and the entire cast was as impressive as their characters were appalling.
Shingeki no Kyojin (Attack on Titan)
After the first season of Attack on Titan premiered in 2013, it received so much hype that even people outside of the anime community were raving about it. The show featured an incredibly high-concept premise, following the last surviving humans as they tried to fight back against giant, man-eating monsters called Titans. Had Attack on Titan stuck to that premise, it would have been top-notch action-horror, albeit not necessarily one of the best shows of the decade.
But Attack on Titan turned out to be so much bigger than its initial premise. As the seasons progressed, Attack on Titan reshaped itself time and time again, leading viewers through an increasingly complex, expertly plotted narrative featuring some of the most compelling characters and intensely emotional moments that I've ever experienced in fiction. At its core, Attack on Titan is a deeply thematic contemplation on war, othering, and humanity's will to survive against impossible odds, alongside the moral sacrifices they oftentimes make to do so.
Shrill
It shouldn't be revolutionary for a show to feature a fat female lead, but it is. Shrill, the brilliant Hulu adaptation of Lindy West's memoir, Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman, gave audiences a badly needed narrative about a woman who is actively seeking to change her life for the better, in ways that have nothing to do with her body. It's funny, it's heartfelt, and it shows a woman getting an abortion and finding it empowering. Woah. Hell yes.
Steven Universe
When Steven Universe first aired on Cartoon Network in 2013, it was a light-hearted and silly children's show with some super-powered action from the Crystal Gems and a lot of silly jokes from their sidekick—the childish titular character. Since then an entire galaxy has been fleshed out around the boardwalk of Beach City where much of the show takes place. Along with the alien gem creatures and their elaborate history, the show has introduced us to a cast of characters that have grown and changed—overcoming insecurities and facing complex questions of love and identity. While Steven matured and developed into a hero worthy of his last name, the show evolved to become one of the best of the decade.