Culture Feature

7 Times David Blaine Tried (and Failed) to Escape the Apocalypse

Most of David Blaine's "stunts" are actually elaborate attempts to escape humanity's dark fate.

David Blaine Endurance Event - Tower Bridge. After A Night Of Torment Whenhis Cage Was Rocked Violently By An Attacker David Blaine Goes Back To His Stretching Routine.

Photo by Glenn Copus/Evening Standard/Shutterstock

This week, magician and death-defying early-2000s icon David Blaine failed to escape our planet's inexorable hold.

Many are reporting Blaine's Ascension—dangling from helium balloons that pulled him nearly 25,000 feet above the earth's surface—as just another "stunt," like the time he held his breath for 17 minutes, or the time he encased himself in ice for 63 hours. But in truth, Blaine's latest spectacle reveals the uncomfortable reality that these supposed stunts always contained: David Blaine is trying desperately to escape humanity's inevitable collective doom.

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