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The Year In Photos (and Gently Mocking Captions)
If a picture is worth 1000 words, then this slideshow is worth 73,000 words (don't hurt yourself - that's 73 pictures). Think of it as pop music's Class of 2011 yearbook, where the yearbook photographer is intensely focused on capturing such day-to-day occurrences as the nip-slip. We hope you'll enjoy our comprehensive chronological collection of captured moments, along with our own playful captioning (so you don't get too misty-eyed).
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"I've Now Written More Books Than I've Read!"
January 7: Snooki signs copies of “her” “book” A Shore Thing at a Barnes & Noble in Los Angeles. The season three premiere of Jersey Shore on Thursday night was MTV's highest rated telecast ever, drawing 8.4 million viewers, according to Nielsen.
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"Bitch Stole My Nipple Tape!"
January 7: Polaroid creative director/humanoid Lady Gaga helps unveil the Polaroid GL20 camera glasses at the 2011 Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas.
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"Demi, Quick, What's The Dude's Name From That Dope Bieber Jam?"
January 12: Ashton Kutcher and Ludacris, pre-man-hug, with Natalie Portman at the No Strings Attached movie premiere.
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"Sweetie, You've Got Some Ho Spit On Your Cheek"
January 17: Brandy helps her brother Ray J celebrate his 30th birthday at Pure nightclub in Las Vegas. The sibs star in Brandy and Ray J: A Family Business on VH1.
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"Why Oh Why Don't I Get The Musical Respect I Deserve?"
January 20: Very handsome man Jared Leto, singer-songwriter for 30 Seconds to Mars, takes his girlfriend's hat for a stroll in L.A.
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"I'm Missing 5th Grade for This?"
January 24: A bored-looking Willow Smith (middle) suffers through some downtime on the set of her new video.
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"My Wig Bill Is How Much?!?"
January 24: Nicki Minaj appears startled in front of the British paparazzi in London. The hip-hop star is overseas promoting her debut album, Pink Friday.
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Demi Lovato Admits She is Powerless Over Ultimate Red Velvet Cheesecake
January 31: The Disney star visits a Cheesecake Factory following her release from rehab for “emotional and physical issues.”
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"Remember When I Used to Sing? Me Neither!"
Justin Timberlake arrives at the SAG Awards on Sunday night. Okay, you're an ac-tor. Congrats. NOW MAKE WITH THE SINGING!
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Lady Gaga Forgeos Helmet, Pads, Pants
February 4: Skateboarding daredevil Lady Gaga pimps for Supreme in a series of pics for Purple magazine, shot by Terry Richardson. More safety don'ts, and Gaga heiney, below.
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"I May Be Crazy, But at Least I Know the Words to the National Anthem!"
February 10: Whitney Houston, belter of the gold-standard Super Bowl “Star Spangled Banner,” happily shopping in Beverly Hills.
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Best. Blind Date Episode. Ever.
February 13: Mumford and Sons banjoist Winston Marshall teaches Miley Cyrus how to Dougie at Clive Davis's pre-Grammy dinner.
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Shari Lewis and Lambchop Make a Triumphant Comeback
February 14: Scary lady Lady Gaga scars Willow Smith forever at Sunday's Grammy awards.
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"I'mma Let Your Finish, but David Bowie Was The Best Ziggy Stardust of All Time."
February 15: Kanye West and Katy Perry on the set of Perry's new video, “E.T.,” directed by Floria Sigismondi. Perry's North American arena tour kicks off on June 7 in Atlanta.
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Texting Gloves Are So 3008
February 24: Will.i.am greets earthlings at Club Vanity in Tokyo.
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Steven Tyler Entertains Tourists With His Famed Grandpa Simpson Impression
February 25: The American Idol judge shops for (more?) glasses in Beverly Hills, CA.
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"Be Honest: Does This Bathrobe Make Me Look Sober?"
March 4: Christina Aguilera, who was arrested for public intoxication on Tuesday, leaves Smashbox Studios in Culver City.
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Miley Cyrus Unveils "Dirty Sanches" Alter Ego For New Spike TV Show
March 4: The singer/actor donned a mustache—she loves mustaches!—for her appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.
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Sadly, The Crunk Mascot Industry Isn't What It Used To Be
March 7: Celebrity Apprentice contestant Lil Jon and swollen-headed doppelganger attend the show's cast party in Las Vegas.
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Red Hand Fans: When a Blue Wig Isn't Attention-Grabbing Enough
March 8: A colorful Katy Perry attends the Jean-Charles de Castelbajac Fall/Winter 2012 fashion show.
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"Milk, Oranges, Gallon of Fake Period Blood, Giant Live-In Eggs..."
March 10: Lady Gaga performs on her Monster Ball tour in Boston.
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"And This Is a New Song Called 'Trouser Snake!'"
March 14: Justin Bieber suffers a temporary wardrobe malfunction during his concert at the Echo Arena in Liverpool, England.
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"I'll Have a 'My Wife and Close Friend Betrayed Me Animal Style,' Please."
March 15: Recently separated Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson set aside their differences and pig out at an In-N-Out Burger in L.A.
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Pink Reclaims Barefoot and Pregnant Cliche
March 16: The singer goes for a power walk in Venice, Calif. She and husband Carey Hart are expecting their first child later this year.
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Nicki Minaj Stars in "Bring It On 5: Damn! That Freakin' Hurts!"
March 18: Nicki and her dancers kick off her I Am Still Music 2011 tour in Providence, RI.
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Like When Nixon Met Mao
March 21: "Friday” phenom Rebecca Black and radio/American Idol host Ryan Seacrest take a moment to reflect on their freakish popularity.
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The 13th Step: Get a Driver
March 28: Christina Aguilera and boyfriend Matthew Rutler play tonsil hockey after dinner out in Santa Monica, CA. Police recently charged Rutler with DUI after he and Xtina had enjoyed a wine-soaked dinner date.
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Tonight, on "The Real Housewives of Camden"...
April 1: Beyoncé poses for famed photographer Ellen Von Unwerth at a fleabaggy New Jersey motel.
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Taylor Swift, Minutes Before Boiling Her Left Thumb and Index Finger
April 4: Despite our plea for a stoppage, Taylor Swift and Steven Tyler make the hand-heart sign at last night's ACM Awards.
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"Hey, Do I Have Spinach And/or Gold Stuck in My Teeth?"
April 7: Miley Cyrus shares her uncanny resemblance to Gucci Mane, as he appears on the cover of The Source magazine. She tweeted, “Don't mind me just showin off muahhh grill with @gucci1017 at the urrrport!”
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"Wish You Were Here, Simon! JK NOT REALLY!"
April 8: Paula Abdul and Adam Lambert share nail polish at Logo's “NewNowNext Awards” in Hollywood.
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After Weighing Offers, Pia Toscano Signs With Random Guy's Label
April 12: The American Idol linner (that's our loser/winner portmanteau, nerds) greets fans in New York City.
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"Yes, As a Matter of Fact, It Would Kill Me To Smile"
April 14: The Pretty Reckless' Taylor Momsen signs a guitar in support of Music Unites' InTune performance series, which benefits inner-city schools.
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"Hello, Each and Every Person Who Saw 'Burlesque!'"
April 21: Christina Aguilera arrives at The Abbey to become the first celebrity to put her hand- and footprints on the Hollywood Gay Walk of Fame in West Hollywood, CA.
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Rihanna Helpfully Volunteers to Pat Herself Down at Airport Security
April 29: Rihanna discusses the state of federal aviation security with TSA agents as she prepares to depart LAX.
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"If Mr. Snuggles Can't Fly First Class, The Terrorists Win"
May 4: Fergie, Kelly Osbourne and cutest-dog-alive arrive at LAX from New York City.
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"We Genuinely Love Each Other-Slash-Money"
March 9: Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul seal their deal to join forces on the X Factorwith a kiss.
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"Remind Me to Give My Nipple-Tape Assisstant a Raise"
May 9: Lady Gaga and her color-coordinated tassles appear at a press conference in Mexico City.
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Mother and Daughter, Getting Crunk Crunk
May 10: Ke$ha takes her mom, Pebe Sebert, out for an evening in Los Angeles.
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"You Were Born in the '80s? Weird."
May 16: Nick Jonas, 18, holds hands with Australian singer Delta Goodrem, 26, in Los Angeles.
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The Couple The Fishes Together...
May 19: Newlywed Miranda Lambert poses with her catch of the day. Lambert is on her honeymoon with husband Blake Shelton.
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"Man, I Just Know We're Gonna Get Racially Profiled"
May 19: Kanye West and an unidentified friend drive a limited-edition Mercedes McLaren SLR Stirling Moss roadster to amFAR's fundraising gala in Cannes, France.
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"I Specifically Reminded You to Wear Your Bathing Suit Under Your Shorts!"
May 25: Lil Wayne and his anonymous new belle cavort around Miami Beach, before attending the Heat game at night.
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"This is So Much More Fun to Ride than a Disco Stick!"
May 27: Lady Gaga zips above the crowd at a Good Morning America taping in Central Park.
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Underneath It All...
June 1: …Gwen Stefani is wearing a thong, under a transparent sarong.
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(Not Pictured: Joe Jonas and Mutt Lange)
June 8: Taylor Swift and Shania Twain make like Thelma and Louise for a bit on tonight's CMT Awards.
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Kesha Sees Future, Gasps Audibly
June 15: Courtney Love and Ke$ha attend the second annual AmFar Inspiration Gala in New York City.
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Turns Out, Cee Lo Does Not Float
June 16: Cee Lo goes for a dip at the Marquee nightclub in the Cosmopolitan hotel, Las Vegas.
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"You'll Be My Friends, Won't You?"
June 27: Chris Brown poses in the press room following the BET Awards. Brown took home four trophies last night.
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"Come, Little Ones...Drink from Mother Monster!"
July 5: Lady Gaga receives a tribal greeting during an appearance in Taiwan, where the mayor pronounced it “Lady Gaga Day.”
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Selena Gomez and the Shortest Man at the ESPYs
July 14: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez professionally cuddle at last night's ESPY Awards, Los Angeles.
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"I Told You, Ozwald: No Public Displays of Affection...Yet"
July 14: Diddy gets measured for a bespoke suit by designer Ozwald Boateng at the Ozwald Boateng store on Saville Row, London.
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"They'll Never Think of Looking for Joe Jonas' Body In Here!"
July 21: Demi Lovato leaves a party at the Sunset Tower Hotel in West Hollywood, CA.
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"Mothersmurker. Now Everyone Can See My Smurf!"
July 25: Katy Perry wears a teeny-tiny Smurfette dress for the world premiere of The Smurfs movie at New York's Zeigfield Theatre. Perry is the voice of Smurfette.
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"Haha, Very Funny. Now Please Return My Glitter and Face Paint."
July 28: Ke$ha, absent her usual face goop, poses for fashion photographer Terry Richardson.
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Gym, Tan, Lap Dance
August 12: Britney Spears does the lapdance thing with opening act DJ Pauly D, of Jersey Shore fame, at Montreal's Bell Centre.
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Taylor Swift Will Not Give In to the Tyranny of the Bikini
August 22: Last Demure Pop Star Taylor Swift photoblogged from her all-girl beach vacation with her backing band/dancers in Charleston, SC.
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"Marc Never Let Me Wear Mom Shorts"
August 24: Jennifer Lopez, on the set of her music video, “Papi.”
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Sellout? Seltzer? Selleck, Tom?
September 8: Selena Gomez shows off her new “Sel” henna tattoo–short for Selena.
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There's Always One Drunken Yahoo That Ruins the Game for Everyone...
September 20: Lady Gaga watches the New York Giants defeat the St. Louis Rams from a luxury box at New Jersey's MetLife Stadium.
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Rihanna Shows Fans How to Conduct a Booty Self-Exam
September 23: During a concert in Brazil, Rihanna, per usual, can't resist groping herself.
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Being Married to Russell Brand Really Ages a Woman
October 5: Katy Perry plays an elderly woman in the video for her new single, “The One That Got Away.”
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Yes, Your Body's Too Nipplicious For Us
October 18: Kelly Rowland, in a sheer top, leaves the X Factor studio in London. Rowland re-pledged her love to her fake boobs in an interview this month in Cosmopolitan magazine.
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Mommy and Daddy Love (and Profit Off) You Very Much
October 19: Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon world-premiere their six-month-old twins, Moroccan and Monroe, on 20/20 with Barbara Walters.
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Is This Baby, What I Have, Or Is This Bloat?
October 25: Jessica Simpson, who reportedly won't confirm her pregnancy until a tabloid coughs up $500K for the exclusive, takes a walk in NYC.
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Wonderstruck: Because "Fake Surprise" Is a Poor Name for a Perfume
November 1: Perpetually astonished superstar Taylor Swift greets fans at her Wonderstruck fragrance launch in Franklin, Tennessee.
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"But Donatella, Will My Crazy Every Fuel a Classic SNL Sketch?"
November 9: Designer Donatella Versace and Nicki Minaj stage a crazy-off at the Versace for H&M fashion show in NYC.
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"Wait...I Can Keep My Pants On for the Paternity Test?"
November 11: Selena Gomez and Justin “Captain Underpants” Bieber are escorted through a paparazzi scrum in Paris.
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Demi Lovato: Sonny with a Chance (of Nip Slip)
November 11: Demi Lovato wows onlookers with a cleavage-bearing gown at last night's Latin Grammy Awards in Las Vegas.
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The Boss (with Bruce Springsteen)
November 18: Bruce Springsteen poses with Taylor Swift backstage at her show in Raleigh, NC. Swift wrote on Facebook that Springsteen played “Dancing in the Dark” for her, and then signed her guitar.
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"I'll Have Malila Home by 11, Mr. President"
December 13: President Barack Obama and Justin Bieber shake hands onstage during Christmas in Washington 2011 at the National Building Museum in Washington, DC.
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And the Grammy for Poufiest Hair Goes to...
December 22: Adele, recovered from vocal surgery, tweeted: “Back on the grind. Hair and makeup did. Merry Christmas!”