It wasn't a "disaster." Rihanna did do seven shows in seven days. Nobody died. (Physically, anyhow.)
The Berlin-London mutiny had the bizarre effect of boosting morale.
Sometime in between Paris, Berlin and London, the 777 Tour descended into insanity.
We've now heard this trip compared to OZ (the prison television show), Cool Hand Luke (the prison movie) and Actual Prison.
We went digging through for snacks, but alas, none of it was (technically) edible.
Free alcohol: it's not for everyone.
Q. Is Rihanna so pretty? A. SO PRETTY.
The venue was like a nightclub from one of the Blade movies, but instead of vampires, there were lasers and Mexicans.
As we prepare to board Rihanna's 777, we wonder: Will touching her clothing heal our ailments?
Her name is Julieanne Smolinski!