Oh, Taylor. The internet is having a good bit of fun with T-Swizzle this week because of this recent 45-second ad—not even an ad, really, but a super-short video announcing an upcoming advertising partnership—for Diet Coke, now apparently the official Taylor Swift beverage of choice. Swift brings her typical brand of sincere over-exuberance to the video, revealing her upcoming collaboration with the soft drink as if it should garner the same kind of excitement as an upcoming collaboration with Beyoncé or Justin Timberlake. Some representative quotes:
We’ve been in conversations about this partnership, it’s gonna include so many fun things, having to do with the tour, having to do with Diet Coke ingeneral…
I really can’t wait to begin all this, and I think it’s gonna be an extraordinary ride, and I just wanted to tell you guys first, because you guys have been so amazing…
Actually, it probably would’ve taken less time to parse this thing for “representative quotes” than to transcribe the entire clip, since again, only 45 seconds long. But you get the idea.
Naturally, to have this kind of enthusiasm about a commercial partnership with a soft drink—a diet one, at that—is going to leave you open to mockery. One of the first on the scene was Videogum’s Gabe Delahaye, who optionally broke his caps lock key in a long-paragraph-long rant about the video. “WE KNOW WHAT FRIENDSHIP LOOKS LIKE. AND FRIENDSHIP, ON THE WHOLE, IS NOT VIDEOTAPED ‘FAKE CASUAL’ IN A PUBLICIST’S OFFICE AFTER 30 MINUTES IN THE MAKE UP CHAIR TO GET ‘FRESH FACE NATURAL’ FOR THE BIG ‘DIET COKE BUZZ BLAST,’” raved Delahaye. “YOU ALSO USED THE WORD ‘EXTRAORDINARY’ WRONG.”
All fair, and we’re not gonna waste too much time trying to defend Taylor here, except to say…that’s just kinda who she is, right? She gets excited about things. About everything. And maybe it’s a little for show and a little stretched, but that’s her deal, and it’s a large part of what makes her and her music so appealing, 85% of the time. That other 15% of the time might result in a lot of eyeroll-inducing award-show acceptances and unbelievable tweets about how pumped she is about “I Knew You Were Trouble” hitting #1 on YouTube in Indonesia, but it’s all just part of the package, take it or leave it. As long as that 85% / 15% ratio is still in her favor, we remain Team Take It.
Plus, some people like Diet Coke, right? I mean, I don’t. But I see people drinking them around the Popdust offices a lot. Maybe one of them likes DC enough to record a 45-second blast proclaiming their excitement to work with them? It’s not 100% impossible, right? Just take a look at some of these Diet Coke stans on Twitter:
my life would be so boring without diet coke
— za☪h ♡ (@ZACHARYDUPUIS) January 26, 2013
Come to me, McDonalds large Diet Coke.
— Future First Lady(@Future1stLady1) January 26, 2013
I seriously need to stop with my addiction to diet coke.
— Platinum Barbie♛ (@xxBarbiexo) January 22, 2013
*snorts 3 lines of diet coke*
— Ookay (@Ookayx) January 23, 2013
i will drink diet coke until it’s the only thing coursing through my veins
— Emily Drewry (@eminemdrew) January 29, 2013
See? If any of these Diet Cokeheads had made a 45-second video gushing about their upcoming partnership with everyone’s favorite aspartane pusher, you wouldn’t be questioning their authenticity, would you?