Posted by Samantha Martin on 01/23/2013 at 11:29 AM News

The Popdust Files: beyonce, elton john, fergie, jay-z, justin bieber, justin timberlake, kanye west, nicole scherzinger

Stars go to great measures to protect their privacy. Sometimes, however, their attempts at going undercover are downright loony. Such is the case when it comes to the pseudonyms stars use when checking into hotels.

Behold, the 12 wackiest we could find…

1. Justin Timberlake AKA “Mr. Woodpond”

Wait…Timber is “Wood”…Lake is “Pond”…Justin, you’re such a card!

2. Britney Spears AKA “Alotta Warmheart”

Half Austin Powers vixen, half Care Bears. The unfailing Urban Dictionary suggests “Warmheart” might reveal more about Spears’ character than one might suspect.

3. Jay-Z AKA “Frank Sinatra”

As Mr. Sinatra’s wife, Beyonce has her pick of “Nancy Barbato,” “Ava Gardner,” “Mia Farrow,” or “Barbara Marx.”

4. Fergie AKA “Penny Lane”

She’s either a big Beatles fan or a big Almost Famous fan. Or both. We won’t limit her.

5. Justin Bieber AKA “Chandler Bing”

An homage to the Friends character, and perhaps a nod to how many times a day the Biebs hears girls cry, “Oh…my…god.”

6. Kim Kardashian AKA “Princess Jasmine”

Hence, Kanye is Prince Ali, Fabulous He, Ali Ababwa (colloquially known as “Aladdin”). Well, he’s definitely got the weird pants thing down.

7. Usher AKA “Mr. Dinero”

“Dinero” is a false cognate; Usher is revealing his love of money, not diners.

8. Nicole Scherzinger AKA “Edna Krabappel”

Wouldn’t necessarily have pegged the Pussycat Doll as a Simpsons fan, but during her stint on X Factor, Simon Cowell was definitely the Bart to her Mrs. Krabappel.

9. Michael Jackson AKA “Dr. Doolittle”

The late King of Pop famously loved animals, in particular a chimp/rumored ringbearer named Bubbles (enough to warrant a Wikipedia page devoted to their relationship!).

10. Lindsay Lohan AKA “Bella Lovelace”

Great tactic—Make ‘em believe the main character from a trashy romance novel is staying in your room!

11. Jon Bon Jovi AKA “Stanley Kowalski”

JBJ is a huge fan of the play “A Streetcar Named Desire,” though we hope he doesn’t aspire to live up to the character’s name.

12. Elton John AKA “Sir Humphrey Handbag” AKA “Brian Bigbun” AKA “Bobo Latrine”

Because of course Elton John has three crazy aliases.