Some girls just can’t go a week without dating somebody famous. Taylor Swift’s relationship with One Direction star Harry Styles just ended—and before that, it had just started—but it’s already On To The Next One for Taylor, who is about one step short of holding straight-up casting calls for the role of Taylor Swift’s Next Celebrity Boyfriend. Most recently, it appears that Swift has set her sights on one Bradley Cooper, one-time Sexiest Man Alive and Best Actor nominee at the 2013 academy awards.
RadarOnline reports that the “newly single 23-year-old country music singer” (that’s Taylor) “desperately wants to date the hunky Hangover actor” (that’s Cooper). What’s more, they report that she’s enlisted a mutual friend in making the hookup a possibility, Cooper’s Playbook co-star (and Taylor’s Hunger Games buddy) Jennifer Lawrence. According to the Radar source, Taylor “begged Jennifer to set up them up,” and that “Jennifer came to him and told him that Taylor was interested in getting together.”
Alas, Cooper put the kibosh on the potential new power couple. “Bradley has absolutely no intention of getting together with Taylor,” says the source. “First of all, her reputation precedes her. Bradley is very wary of dating someone who is a bit of a serial dater like Taylor….He thinks she’s far too young for him and wants to date someone his own age, not 16-years younger because he’s ready for something serious.” (Didn’t stop you in Silver Linings, did it, Cooper?)
This is all hilarious for many reasons, mostly for the sheer middle school-ishness of that whole thing—hell, even middle school might be too socially advanced for this. We imagine the dialogue being something like:
JENNIFER: Heyyyyy, Brad? Ummm…my friend kinda has a crush on you.
BRADLEY: Oh really? What’s she like? Is she hot?
JENNIFER: Oh, totally! She’s really pretty, and she’s super-smart, and she really likes horses and dancing and stuff!
BRADLEY: Wow, she sounds awesome! What’s her name, is she any of our classes I mean movies?
JENNIFER: No, she’s more into music. Her name is, uh, Taylor.
BRADLEY: WAIIIT A MINUTE. Are you talking about Taylor Swift?
BRADLEY: No. No way, Jen. I heard from Harry that that girl is a total tease! She wants to kiss all the time and then doesn’t even let you get to second base and then when you try to break up with her, she tells EVERYONE in the school I mean the media about what a jerk you are!
JENNIFER: Yeah, I guess she totes does do that. Well…this time she won’t?
BRADLEY: Nuh-uh. I need someone a little more matuuuure. I’m gonna go out with that new exchange student Carly Rae instead.
Story of Taylor’s life.