As they promised, One Direction dropped their new music video for “Kiss You” Monday afternoon, and, as they also promised, the clip is a delightful adventure that sees the boys turning their natural hamminess up to 11. Is there a point? Not really—it’s just four minutes of One Direction dancing around on a film set with wacky retro costumes. Who could ask for more than that?
With a video this goofy, it might seem hard to pick out the cheesiest moments, but we think we’re up to the task. Below, we’ve tackled each silly moment in the video, and assigned it a Cheesiness Score between 1 (the “Little Things” video) and 10 (Niall’s verse in “Viva La Vida”). Which is the cheesiest moment? Read on to find out!
ZAYN RIDING A MOTORCYCLE IN FRONT OF AN OBVIOUS GREENSCREEN
Cheesiness Rating: 6.0. The impact is leavened by the later shot that makes the artifice obvious. Too on-the-nose!
LOUIS AND NIALL DRIVING IN FRONT OF THAT SAME GREEN SCREEN
Cheesiness Rating: 4.3. Props for the hands, but otherwise you’re boring us.
HARRY POPPING UP BEHIND ZAYN
Cheesiness Rating: 7.0. This would be higher if Louis was driving.
LIAM POPPING UP IN THE SIDECAR
Cheesiness Rating: 5.3. Sidecars are inherently silly, but Liam’s got to do more than this if he wants to overcome his fundamental un-cheesiness.
NIALL STROKING HIS OWN CHIN WHILE SINGING “CHINNY-CHIN-CHIN”
Cheesiness Rating: 8.6. This was already a cheesy moment in the song, and Niall’s acting—always pretty Vegas-worthy—only intensifies it.
Cheesiness Rating: 6.9. Give Louis a hand for finally embracing the Ken doll that lives inside of him.
LIAM DOING THE ROBOT WHILE SKIING
Cheesiness Rating: 7.1. This is what we were talking about, Liam!
HARRY PRETENDING TO COVER ZAYN’S EYES
Cheesiness Rating: 5.0. Fine gag. Perfectly average.
THE ENTIRE BAND DRESSING UP AS SAILORS FOR NO REASON
Cheesiness Rating: 8.4. They have to have been reading the fan fiction. That’s the only explanation for this.
THE GRATUITOUS SHIRTLESS SURFING SCENE
Cheesiness Rating: 5.9. We are distracted by the fact that, in every group shirtless scene, Harry is nowhere to be found. Conspiracy theory time! Was he having a fat day?
THIS NIALL FACE
Cheesiness Rating: 7.9. Had Simon Cowell not intervened, we suspect Niall would have eventually aged into a lounge singer. Actually, he still might!
ZAYN BEING “CHASED” BY A “SHARK”
Cheesiness Rating: 6.7. We love his floaties.
DANCING WHILE SAILORS
Cheesiness Rating: 8.0. Everything sailor-related gets an automatic two-point bump.
DANCING WHILE SURFING
Cheesiness Rating: 6.0. Seriously, where is Harry?
ZAYN DOES THIS
Cheesiness Rating: 7.4. Pretty silly!
LIAM AND ZAYN’S DUPLICATE MJ-DANCING IN JAIL
Cheesiness Rating: 7.1. Respect for combining multiple generations of pop history here.
LIAM RUNNING AFTER ZAYN’S MOTORBIKE
Cheesiness Rating: 8.3. We LOL’d.
HARRY DOING THIS TO HIS NIPPLES
Cheesiness Rating: 7.7. This is … something, but we’re not sure if “cheesy” is the best way to describe it.
THIS VEHICULAR CLUSTER-EFF
Cheesiness Rating: 7.9. Nobody should trust these boys to drive.
So…what was the cheesiest moment of the “Kiss You” video? We’re going to go with NIALL STROKING HIS OWN CHIN WHILE SINGING “CHINNY-CHIN-CHIN.” Congratulations, Niall!