If you follow Justin Bieber on Instagram—and we recommend you do, because you never know when Jeremy, Floyd Mayweather or overalls will pop up and say hi—you’ve been privy to his manchild abs and upper body tattoos. Those Bieber fans who happen to be more selective with their social media are forced to suffer through repeated teasing during his live show as he’s hinted at giving us his best Magic Mike (PG version!) impression during the Believe tour via tugs at his white tee and by wearing a vest that’s without anything underneath; after seeing him in Brooklyn last month we can say the entire is show is loud, but the shrillest screams are reserved to express the anguish they feel by not getting the real thing. If he’s going to quote Rick Ross, might as well try to emulate his style.
Well, it’s all happening, Beliebers. The Bieb opted to go all the way at Z100′s Jingle Ball on Friday night, fully willing to accept whatever medical bills come his way after teens in the tri-state area complain from symptoms of excess swag. And like everything else Bieber does, there was an air of drama and playfulness too obvious to ignore. Below, the inner monologue of a one Justin Drew, his white tee and the hormonal fans.
“YOU WANT ME TO TAKE IT OFF, HUH?”
“According to those Timberlake live DVDs I’ve been watching, girls like it when guys say stuff like that.”
“FIRST, I NEED TO SEE YOU BETTER.”
“It’s a reasonable request—I would like to make sure this is a safe, friendly space. I’m still growing and society places too much importance on body image nowadays,” he continues.
“Yes, Justin, I’m ready. Also, I’m pretty damn uncomfortable,” complains an anonymous Belieber sitting in Floor Section Row AA.
“IT’S REALLY HOT UP HERE, GUYS. CANADA ALWAYS HAS AIR CONDITIONING.”
“It’s really not any better for me from down here,” says his sweaty, rumpled jacket.
“GOOD THING I’M RIPPED, RIGHT?”
“All right, kid. You ready to show them some more? One, two, three…boom,” instructs Scooter Braun, via wireless ear microphone. The rest is history:
And yes, throughout his shirtless dancing the elastic waistband of his boxers remained in plain sight. Certain members of the Popdust crew (who shall remain nameless) believe he should pull the shorts down just a smidge if only to elongate his torso (#protip). Do with that information what you wish, Justin. You’re a man now!