Posted by Nate Jones on 11/20/2012 at 5:46 PM News

The Popdust Files: books, humor, kesha, My Crazy Beautiful Life

As Ke$ha’s Today Show performance Tuesday morning reminded us, the “TiK Tok” star’s got a memoir out this week! My Beautiful Crazy Life (suggested retail price $22.99) is the Dirty Girl’s very own Dreams From My Father, a clear-eyed recollection of her various influences, struggles and triumphs. There’s just one problem: There’s no index! This book comes in at a whopping 180 pages—how will Ke$ha’s animals know which juicy bits to skip to?

To solve this problem, we’ve taken the bold step of writing our own index for Ke$ha magnum opus. Simply print it out, and staple it to the back of your own copy! It’s totally legal. (We think.)

Animal, Album: 26, 166

Animals, Subset of Ke$ha Fans: vi, ix, 59, 177

Animals, Real: 11, 18, 135

Animals, Party: vi

Baby Pictures: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12

Baseball: 90

Baseball Players: 90

Beards: 19, 74, 90, 104

Blood: iii, 37, 68, 90, 93

Boobs: 90

Boots: 90

Butts: 90

Child or Children, Wild: 24, 25

Chili Peppers, Red Hot: 12

Condoms: 94

Cooper, Alice: ix, 30, 70, 71, 96

Curse Words, Spelled In Unconventional Fashion: 9, 28

Daniels, Jack: 21

Devil, The: 70

Diddy, P.: 19, 25

Dollar Signs, Used As The Letter S: 9, 21, 49

Drinking, Possibly Underage: 19, 20, 23, 24, 47, 48

Food Fights: 121

Finger, Middle: 19

Glitter: 9, 21, 37, 41, 67

Gold Trans-Am, Car: 22

Gold Trans-Am, Euphemism for Vagina: 158

Gypsies: 68

Haters:, vi, 82

Hoo-Ha, Euphemism for Vagina: 158

Human Teeth, Collecting: 10, 172

Instagram Filters, Blatant: 7, 15, 18, 19, 23, 25, 26, 69, 75, 80, 95, 101, 102, 128, 129, 132, 154

Italicization, Gratuitous: vi

Keytar: 26

Luke, Dr.: ix, 14, 18, 20, 22, 24, 47, 144, 148, 151, 154, 158, 160

Martin, Max: 162, 163

Misfits: 41, 82

MySpace Bio: 18

Native Americans, Appropriating Imagery Of: viii

Pants, Tight: 18

Party: vi, 48, 50

Penis Costume: 68, 69

Pop, Iggy: 30, 139, 142, 148

Reatard, Jay: 7

Rida, Flo: 20

Shark Toy, Used As Mask: 110

Tights, Ripped: 30, 38, 39, 100, 173

Warrior: viii, ix, 82, 131, 139, 140, 150, 153, 158, 160, 164, 166