Will.i.am Is Not Wyclef Jean Is Not Wale: A Guide For Mistaken Reporters

Will I Am Wyclef Jean Wale

Posted by on 11/07/2012 at 5:35 PM News

The Popdust Files: Election 2012, politics, wale, will.i.am, Wylcef Jean

Our nation’s political reporters don’t always have trouble with faces—after all, they’ve been able to tell Tim Pawlenty, Mitch Daniels and Rob Portman apart when no one else can. But according to this local news broadcast from Tuesday, election correspondents have a significantly harder time differentiating black musicians whose names all start with the letter “W”:

In the interest of saving this young man’s dignity for next time, Popdust is proud to present to him our Official Guide To Telling Will.i.am, Wyclef and Wale apart.

WILL.I.AM

He is: The rapper/singer/DirectTV pitchman who fronts the Black Eyed Peas.

Where he’s from: East LA.

Political affiliation: Has been a solid Obama supporter since the 2008 primaries.

His hobbies: Appearing as a hologram, shilling for Target, being broadcast from space.

General style: Tim Burton colorful.

Political reporters know him because: That “Yes We Can” video he made for Obama in ’08.

WYCLEF JEAN

He is: A satin-voiced R&B star whose hips, notoriously, always tell the truth.

Where he’s from: Just outside Port-Au-Prince, Haiti.

Political affiliation: Republican (U.S.), himself (Haiti).

His hobbies: Posing half-naked on the back of a motorcycle, running for president of Haiti.

General style: Dignified and classy, unless it’s his birthday.

Political reporters know him because: That brief moment when TIME was all over his presidential campaign.

WALE

He is: The most sensitive rapper in Rick Ross’ Maybach Music Group.

Where he’s from: Washington, DC.

Political affiliation: Vaguely pro-Obama, anti-panic.

His hobbies: Watching (500) Days of Summer over and over and over again.

General style: Nerdy urban.

Political reporters know him because: Christ, we don’t know. They frequent the same hotspots in Adams-Morgan?

[Nah Right]

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