The hope of becoming Mrs. Justin Timberlake is officially dead, as the former ‘N Sync star wed longtime girlfriend Jessica Biel on Friday in Fasano, Italy. The pair confirmed the news to People, and we’ve been told to expect glorious photos from the Borgo Egnazia resort, and breathless descriptions of this special day—that will rival, but certainly not top, the Lively-Reynolds nuptials—to appear in the magazine as early as next Wednesday. “It’s great to be married, the ceremony was beautiful and it was so special to be surrounded by our family and friends,” Jus and Jess said in an exclusive statement. Do those things tend to happen right as the couple steps off the aisle, or after the first dance? The ceremony took place in Europe, so is time difference a factor?
We knew this was coming, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less to those longtime fans who’ve followed Timberlake from The Mickey Mouse Club to MySpace, and still have their movie stub from the opening night screening of Alpha Dog. We’re sure Jess is great and all, but does she truly understand what she’s in for until death do they part? You never know when one of these old looks can come back to haunt you.
This is clearly just a coping mechanism on our part—we know she’s waking up to this every morning.
After five years together, we wish them all the happiness in the world as they embark on a lifetime of cozy movie nights and eating leftovers. We’ll warm up to Jessica even more if she somehow manages to expedite that long-awaited third album from her new husband. Even a stand-alone single will suffice.