Farrah from “Teen Mom” Releases Something Supposedly Resembling a Debut Single
Posted by Newson 08/07/2012 at 10:02 AM
It’s been some time since we last brought you a horrifying excuse for new music from a saddened reality star, suggesting that the world had somehow become a more uplifting place, or at least one where talentless fame whores can’t be rewarded for their shameless acts. Wrong! Well, it was fun while it lasted.
Our far too brief respite from the perils of pseud0celebrity musicality has been cut short—be honest, you were getting tired of listening to Frank Ocean—as Farrah Abraham of MTV’s Teen Mom fame has released her debut “single” entitled, “Finally Getting up From Rock Bottom.” At least she’s self-aware! It’s awful, of course, and yet Farrah’s musical endeavor is right on schedule with her upcoming memoir, recent tabloid admissions of drug addiction and suicidal thoughts, and some sort of “modeling” career reportedly n the horizon. Move over Countess, Courtney, and Michaele Salahai; this song, if that’s what the group of delusional people have chosen to call it, is entirely more terrible than if Simon van Kempen and Courtney Stodden’s “Don’t Put It On Me” puppy mated, thus creating a disgusting super-species permanently clad in leather pants and pink highlights. Hasn’t she been through enough?
With so much autotune, every lyric becomes indistinguishable from the next, leading us to believe this is truly just the blank canvas for Farrah’s fans to write their own anthems of survival in support of the “star”—or something. (We’re reaching.) Rebecca Black can win all the Grammy Awards from here on out, so long as human beings never have to pretend that this is something even close to resembling talent, or production money well spent. Because the Internet police are trying to stop this thing from spreading, as much as contraceptives wish they could have protected Farrah’s genes from doing the same, you’ll need to listen to the song here. Enjoy.
Check Us Out On
Paul put Eleanors on the map, yo.
We've got our first John Mayer diss track, and it is MEAN.
Even Mr. Movin' On is smiling.
We're getting the strong feeling Mr. Bieber does not care for paparazzi.
Why did Lil Wayne sully the honor of this great nation?
Vicky just dropped her first post-Victorious single and it's pretty good.
Just like The Pussycat Dolls, only not as good.
2NE1 plans to make up for lost time.
The final three artists take the stage and vie for votes for the last time.
As usual, B.A.P continues to work without rest.
Surprisingly, a song called "Bring the Noize" is not the laid-back jam we expected.
Through this amazing deal, receive two bottles of wine a month customized to your tastes.
Chris Brown is the only man who can unite the Bloods and the Crips.