We’ve seen artists get surprise visits from fans on stage before, much to the chagrin of security guards hoping to take one night off and catch up on 50 Shades of Grey on tape without interruption. Despite the inevitably bad results—these things never end well—many concert goers continue to ignore venue security’s wishes in attempts to cross their favorite star’s radar. Nicki Minaj is the latest victim of a concert security breach, which went down during her performance at the James L. Knight Center in Miami on Wednesday night. In between songs, one bold fan rushed up to Onika and went in for a hug seconds before being tackled and escorted off stage by a collection of burly men. No one appeared to be hurt during the brief scuffle, and Nicki kept a lighthearted attitude about the whole thing, acknowledging that despite being a tad crazy, her fans will do anything to get close to her. So, go ahead and do this at home, kids?
For those with tickets to upcoming Roman Reloaded dates, or any other show this summer, rushing the stage and pawing at the night’s headliner shouldn’t be on your to-do list, unless you prefer your momentary Internet fame to be accompanied by the nickname “idiot” or “asshole.” But if common sense, legal troubles, and facial bruising are all things you’re willing to sacrifice for a chance at sharing a moment with your idol, here’s how to go about things the right way:
STEP 1: WAIT FOR THE MOMENT WHEN THE ARTIST IS SUPREMELY HAPPY
They’ll never see you coming if they’re busy reveling in love from the audience.
STEP 2: PUSH THROUGH STAGE-ADJACENT CROWDS AND APPROACH THE ARTIST FROM BEHIND
Proceed to initiate a high-five, go in for a hug, or, if you’re really bold, get down on one knee.
STEP 3: AWAIT THE IMMEDIATE RESPONSE FROM SECURITY
Your time up there is fleeting, but if they haven’t arrived after five seconds, consider reciting that sonnet you’ve been working on.
STEP 4: SURRENDER TO ANYONE WHO LOOKS MUCH MORE CAPABLE OF INFLICTING PAIN ONTO OTHERS THAN YOU DO
It’s really the best for all involved.
STEP 5: IMPROVE YOUR CHANCES AT VIRAL FAME BY THROWING A FEW LAST-MINUTE PUNCHES
The Internet loves stadium-wide fights!
STEP 6: FINALLY LEAVE THE STAGE WITH YOUR FACE AND PRIDE SUFFICIENTLY BRUISED
Nothing one eight-ounce t-bone can’t fix.
STEP 7: CELEBRATE WHEN FRIENDS EXPLAIN HOW THE ARTIST LAUGHED ABOUT YOUR INCIDENT WITH THE CROWD
They like you, they really like you!
Did we mention we really enjoy Nicki’s outfit here? Watch the full series of events below.