Rolling Stone Declares Justin Bieber Open For Business, Rips Off Own Self
Posted by Newson 07/17/2012 at 1:17 PM
Technically speaking, it’s probably true. Justin Bieber’s Hot, sure. Ready? Well, he’s probably ready for something anyway, even if it’s just for this darned heat wave to abate a little. Legal? Well, technically by Canada law, he’s been legal since he was 16, though now that he’s turned 18, it’s also OK for him to have either anal sex or sex with a person in a position of authority. (Insert your own Scooter jokes here.) Still, technical accuracy doesn’t necessarily excuse Rolling Stone magazine for what must be the sleaziest three-word cover line we’ve ever seen on a mag that considers itself credible enough a journalistic institution to also write about “Global Warming’s Terrifying New Math.”
What’s worse, it’s not even the first time they’ve used it. Rolling Stone used the same three-word teaser—with an “and,” some commas and an exclamation mark (we’re not sure which is worse)—when describing a then-18-year-old Lindsay Lohan in 2004. Good to know that RS doesn’t discriminate by gender or artistic medium in their borderline-creepiness, but unless they thought that the first headline was iconic enough that readers would recall it immediately (it isn’t), it’s pretty cheap for them to recycle the cover line for the not-particularly-pressing occasion of The Bieb’s 18th birthday.
The one good thing about this headline? It makes for a fun plug-and-play to see if you and your friends can come up with an equally unsettling third word as “legal” to fill out the phrase. Here’s some of our favorites:
- Hot, Ready, Curious
- Hot, Ready, Trusting
- Hot, Ready, Emotionally Vulnerable
- Hot, Ready, Discreet
- Hot, Ready, Tireless
- Hot, Ready, Reading 50 Shades of Grey
Try it out yourself! Let us know the sleaziest ones you can come up with.
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