Acknowledging that summer is a time when most of us are steamy and sweaty already, Jimmy Fallon combined “the beautiful music of The Roots with the morally depraved words of the erotic, smut-peddler, E.L. James” on his show Wednesday night. Finally! Those of us who’ve overcome reading 50 Shades of Grey on the subway have another test of public decency to conquer. Fallon invited male audience members to the stage and encouraged them to take the words in whatever musical direction their hearts desired. “You can sing however you want, these aren’t real songs. Just as long as you’re singing, you’re not talking throughout the words” he stressed. The marriage of cheesy karaoke videos featuring karate kids and scenic coastal landscapes, and alpha males who won’t admit to ever peering over their girlfriend’s shoulder makes for an interesting musical creation.
The Roots provide a blank canvas of slow-jamming melodies, allowing said males to explore the depths of their vocal fantasies before a live studio audience. And with song titles like “Hot Fudge Brownie Sex,” the possibilities for choreography are endless.
While Fallon’s WWE candidate accurately captures what it’s like to rub baby oil (such a versatile liquid!) on another human being, contestant Number Three comes dressed in a costume that bears an erotic message of its own. And with closed-eye technique like that, it’s clear he’s truly a fan of James’ work.
If you take away what they’re singing about, we’d say that each of these would make for totally plausible performances on The X Factor (or The XXX Factor). Auditions are all about first impressions, and what better way to make a memorable one on the likes of Simon Cowell than with a pornographic proposition? We also applaud Fallon for incorporating such “controversial” material into his nightly program, but hope he doesn’t get his cue cards mixed up before tonight’s Justin Bieber YouTube interview. The Bieb might be 18-years-old now, but the elaborate games of Christian Grey are still much too racy for his (mostly younger) Beliebers.