OK, we’re starting to lose our sense of humor about this. Nothing against Gotye and Kimbra, as their “Somebody That I Used to Know” was and is a most worthy of #1s, and normally we’d be overjoyed about the eight-week run they’ve spent on top of the Hot 100, this week now being the eighth. But there’s a song currently occupying the runner-up slot, Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe,” that it needs to make some fucking room for. Two weeks ago, it was defensible, last week, it was excusable—but now, clowntime is over, and we’re getting impatient waiting for Our Girl Carly Rae to take her rightful place on top.
Not that peaking at #2 is such a terrible fate—it’s one shared by such classics as Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy,” Bruce Springsteen’s “Dancing in the Dark,” and five different Credence Clearwater Revival singles released between the years 1969 and 1971—but it was not the fate that “Call Me Maybe” was meant for. This is a #1 song through and through. Unfortunately, destiny doesn’t always come to fruition as it should with these songs—remember the case of Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone,” arguably the only pop/rock song of the last ten years as unassailable as “Maybe,” which could not unseat 50 Cent and Olivia’s deplorable “Candy Shop” from the #1 spot back in 2004. So if you’ve been holding off downloading the song, streaming it, or playing it on our radio show—now is the goddamn time.
Anyway, the top of the charts is pretty boring again this week, with the top five remaining static for the second week in a row. The only item of real interest in the top ten is that Rihanna crashes in at #9 with “Where Have You Been,” her second top ten hit off Talk That Talk (and her second Calvin Harris collaboration—coincidence?) and her 22nd overall, with 18 as a lead artist and four as a featured. That’s pretty good—fifth-best all-time for a female solo artist, in fact, behind Madonna’s 38, Mariah Carey and Janet Jackson’s 27, and Whitney Houston’s 23. (It’s also by far the most among women of her era, twice as many as the next closest, Lady Gaga.)
Let’s hope this is the last time we have to do one of these Gotye Outrage posts. Carly Rae has waited long enough, as have we. Time to make this right.