The Choice, Fox’s upcoming not-even-barely-disguised ripoff of NBC’s singing-competition rival The Voice, is so shameless it makes the concept of shame seem ludicrous. It is the antimatter to shame’s matter, meaning that it actually forms a black hole that sucks up all the shame from any surrounding objects or potential viewers. That means me and you. Hooray!
How shameless is this thing, really? There’s a video below, but should you want to avoid black holes, here’s what you need to know:
- It’s called The Choice. The promo actively advertises how similar this show is to The Voice.
- It’s a dating show. We think. The promo is not entirely clear about what happens beyond the chairs. (So to speak.)
- Everyone on this show describes themselves in roughly the same tone and terms as “I have a crush on EVERY BOY!”
- The show takes the underlying concept of The Voice, which is that people get unfairly judged on their looks, and turns it into basically the same mean joke as masked Bachelor takeoff Mr. Personality, which I DID NOT WATCH but am still ashamed to remember. OMG, what if Joe Jonas meets the horrible fate of briefly entertaining someone mildly unattractive? Nothing could be worse!
- Oh, we didn’t mention Joe Jonas?
He furthers the family decline by appearing on this thing, along with Tyson Beckford, Dean Cain and, in something that may well be the result of a Jersey Shore central-casting quota, DJ Pauly D. Actually, come to think of it, both Pauly D and Joe Jonas were openers for Britney Spears’ tour. Could this be one of Spears’ reportedly unheard-of demands? Job placement for her openers? Or maybe it’s just the natural consequence of hanging out with Wilmer Valderrama. Or maybe the entertainment industry’s such that even gigs like these start to look pretty good for the paycheck. It’s your choice. (Damn it.)