Well, we suppose if Chris Brown is going to go a couple of weeks without making some sort of bad joke or tasteless reference to his checkered history with pop star ex-girlfriend Rihanna, someone else in the hip-hop world is just gonna have to pick up the slack. L.A. rapper Glasses Malone was doing all right on his vaguely menacing seduction jam named after the Barbadian hitmaker, until things get a little physical at the end of the first verse (“Leave a couple handprints / Unconscious on the canvas”). Then, Malone really drops the hammer down on the song’s chorus:
I’m a treat it like Rihanna, treat it like Rihanna / Beat it up, Beat it up / ‘Coz playing with the pussy ain’t enough / I’ma treat it like Rihanna / Bitch call me Chris Brown / She love the way a nigga put it down / When I treat it like Rihanna
And yes, he spends much of the second verse proclaiming his love for “a freaky Island bitch.” And yes, for added punctuation, he samples Ri herself singing the “Take it, take it” part of the “Rude Boy” chorus at the end. It’s that kind of song.
We have no doubt that this song is going to be the subject of any number of internet think pieces (though at least its premiering so late on a Friday means many of them will have to wait until next week), and we’re not going to delve any further into the sociological implications here except to tell you this: Watch out. “#Rihanna” is here, and the reckoning will envelop us all.