Can we have a chat? Cool. First of all, we’re really excited that “Where Have You Been” will be your next single. Great choice. Second, awesome job in that Drake video! Never has a clip in which so little happened made us more emotional. But what we really wanted to talk to you about is your “love life,” Chris Brown-related and otherwise. We’re not immune to the gossip columns, so naturally we read reports that you went to Ashton Kutcher’s for a late-night sleepover not too long ago, and might be dating? Even though he’s on a terrible television show and cheated on a women twice our age whom we’d kill to look half as good as, we’re cool with you wanting to get yours. Dew you, as Weezy would say; it doesn’t sound like anything “serious” anyway.
So that’s brings us to Breezy. We’re having a tough time understanding how you want us—your fans, the media, citizens of the world—to treat your relationship with Chris Brown. First you release the “Birthday Cake” remix featuring your ex-boyfriend (very explicit) and fill subsequent magazine profiles with shouts of how you “don’t have anything to hide.” We may not understand or agree with all your decisions, particularly how they may affect younger fans who look up to you, but this is your life to live (we think you sang a very popular hook about that? Ask T.I. for further details). When you put so much of yourself out there for public consumption, you can’t blame us for wanting to know more. Specifically, who you’re playing in Draw Something. And we know we’re not the only ones.
During an Australian press junket for the soon-to-be cinematic masterpiece Battleship, Rihanna came ready to preach the wonders of director and Friday Night Lights alum Peter Berg, as well as her natural acting talent despite this being her first movie. “I don’t see why I can’t do both,” she said of music and film, during a conversation with news program, Sunrise (embedded below). “If I love both then I’ll do great in both.” From the clips shown below, her character already has a catchphrase (“Mahalo, motherfuckers”) which means she’s halfway to her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. When conversation turned to her romantic life, however, Rihanna quickly shut it down. “[The public is] interested in a lot of things that don’t matter or shouldn’t,” she said abruptly. Maybe she’s still in character? Hit the lights!
The whole thing wasn’t as “controversial” as promised—if you want controversy Down Under, try stuffing a pillow under your dress—and a lot can be said for her reportedly feeling under the weather the day before. Still, it’s hard to know where the line is drawn when it comes to Rihanna’s personal life given how much of it is presented to us by the woman herself. We applaud the intrepid journalist willing to delicately broach the subject—and then dish about the ugly and impromptu ending it caused on live TV—but we’d really like to raise a glass to her colleague for his stellar Notting Hill reference. Oopsy daisy.