Hey, kids! If you’re experiencing hypothermia symptoms–constant shivering, faintness, sluggish pulse–stop waiting in the cold for One Direction sightings. Yes, these symptoms can apply equally to freaking out about boy banders as to all your internal organs shutting down, and yes, you might not know whether you’re palpitating about a swoop or a snowdrift–but when in doubt, quit camping out.
We say this because the One Direction fan clamor is claiming everything, including a van, thousands of eardrums, and now people’s health. OK, that’s sensationalized–what happened is that six girls in Canada got hypothermia while spending hours in Canadian not-even-close-to-spring weather for the band, and one of them was hospitalized. There were paramedics and everything.
According to the story, everyone’s OK, but this seems like it could be the start of something, right? Specifically, if One Direction’s heading the new British Invasion, this seems like the start of their Valley Forge phase. And if it’s that, 2,500 people will die while camping out in the cold because of British guys. So consider this post a quick public service announcement: please don’t let this happen.