Much like MDMA, Madonna’s MDNA is the sort of thing that might make appearances at dance parties. And again like MDMA, MDNA is the sort of thing that addiction specialist and Celebrity Rehab guy Dr. Drew gets the screaming shivers about, enough to make an entire video warning people of how addictive the album is. Specifically, it’s the sort of album that could produce “dramatic increase in heart rate,” “spontaneous dancing” and a “deep depression” if one should ever stop listening.
These are quite encouraging symptoms for Madonna! Having heard the record and experienced those side effects and more, we’ll add: Catholic guilt; side-eye twitches; beating up the beat; thinking about dubstep; breaking out old Gwen Stefani and Shangri-Las records after hearing “Gang Bang”; breaking out old Madonna records and experiencing sudden feelings of attachment to her old voice; experiencing equally sudden urges to take Benny Benassi and Martin Solveig in either crook of the arm and bang their heads together, essentially reproducing the beats they’ve just inflicted on you; humming “Give Me All Your Luvin” involuntarily after half an hour when something’s slipped in the brain chemistry.
Yeeeeaaaah, you probably guessed that we’ll have more to say on MDNA later. In the meantime, definitely listen to Dr. Drew before experimenting with Madonna music. Do you really want to be the person who goes on My Strange Addiction with home footage of yourself in your bedroom, soused and soaked in glitter and headbanging in the fetal position to “Girl Gone Wild”? That’s the sort of thing nobody’ll forget.