Posted by Emily Exton on 03/16/2012 at 12:07 PM Videos

The Popdust Files: katy perry, spoiler alert

With increasing frequency, artists are taking to social networks and premiering frustratingly brief teaser clips from their upcoming videos. These are usually between zero and 45 seconds in length and tend to do two things: leave you wanting more video, and leave you wanting fewer teasers. We can’t address the latter. What we can do, however, is help with the former, so, based solely on the preview, Popdust will miraculously predict what transpires in the unseen full-length video.

Today’s teaser: Katy Perry’s “Part of Me“

Run-length: 25 seconds

Summary: Helicopters, combat boots and murky waters all lead to a fierce-looking shot of KP in green and black. It’s a new color scheme than we’re used to, in a chaotic setting that has a much higher stakes than the need to clean vomit out of a roller skate before one’s parents get home.

What could come next: Perry may maintain her stance that the song is most definitely not about soon-to-be ex-husband Russell Brand, but this brief view has too much of a literal interpretation of the “Love Is A Battlefield” metaphor to stop our minds from wandering in that direction. Who else would she be fighting with in such a violent way? (Those responsible for Billboard’s new rules on re-releases, duh.) With that in mind, the precarious situation could come to a head with potentially fatal results, with Perry swearing to take unleash on the party responsible for keeping her from the record books. All falls down when a civilian shows up boombox in hand, blasting her latest hit in the fashion of Lloyd Dobler. Tensions simmer and Perry rips off her helmet and fatigues, only to reveal blue hair and ice cream-squirting bra—never stray too far from what you know. And then peace rang out over the kingdom and the UN realized its efforts would be better focused working Perry into their global ambassador program. Angelina’s leg divides, but Perry’s coif unites us all.