Man, has it really been almost a decade and a half since Aerosmith and Armageddon ruled the late summer of 1998? Since the Bruce Willis disaster flick was owning the box office while “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” was dominating the pop charts, Aerosmith have had a handful of hits, and there have been a handful of decent movies about the Earth’s imminent destruction being brought about by an asteroid collision, but neither band nor plot skeleton have had the kind of success apart that they once enjoyed together.
So, at long last, a reunion, thanks to Jimmy Kimmel Live!‘s post-Oscars show, and Kimmel’s trailer for “Movie: The Movie,” the most action, drama, and everything else-stuffed movie in film history. It’s got everything from Tom Hanks as Robo-Lawyer to Kate Beckinsale having sex with Chewbacca (you can do better, Chewy), and the climax of the whole thing involves a wheelchair-bound George Clooney trying to stop Gabourey Sidebe (as Black Hitler) trying to blow up the world with an asteroid.
Only one man could properly soundtrack the situation, and of course, it’s Tyler, singing what we’re going to refer to as “Meteor of Freedom” as Clooney tries to push the “Stop Meteor” button. (Opening lyric: “There’s a place in the sky called happiness / Where the eyes of a child live free / And if you believe in the sound of your heart / You’d stop this meteor with me.”) Hard to say just yet if it’ll be as big as “Miss a Thing”—that thing was written by Diane Warren and had a friggin’ seven-minute string intro (if memory serves)—but high school prom season is just right around the corner, and nobody writes good ballads anymore. Just sayin’.
About eight minutes in, though the whole thing is worth watching: