Look, It’s Another Roundup Of Bizarro Quotes By Kesha

kesha

Posted by on 02/06/2012 at 9:22 AM News

The Popdust Files: glamour, kesha

“Ke$ha in Glamour magazine” is:

A. An inside joke at Condé Nast?
B. Reality?

It’s not too surprising that it’s B (although at one point it surely must’ve been A) too; a blonde, freckled without face paint and leave-in detritus looks essentially like a standard blonde, freckled woman. Nor is it surprising that Ke$ha sticks to her B-movie script: she’s resurrecting rock, she calls her fans animals because they’re going gorillas, etc.

Even the remainder of the interview’s shocking yet not; it’s more from that glorious mix of rock and trolling, beards, glitter and irreverence she fed into her PR hopper somewhere around “Right Round,” the words of a manic Pixy-Stix nightmare-world girl with an eventual album. You’ve been baffled like this before–but somehow, it’s still compelling. Some highlights from the full interview, below:

On dating: “I’m in the middle of writing a new record. I’m taking so many different instrument lessons. [ed. note: Guitar, mainly.] I’m also designing animal-friendly jewelry and a fake-fur line. So if a man is not, like, the second coming, then what’s the point? I have other s–t to do.”

On etiquette: “I was dating a guy once who spoke rudely to a taxi driver. I got out of the cab and walked home. Treat people with respect. I’ve waited tables, and that’s why I just exceedingly overtip. It’s exhausting work.”

On living in her own parallel nightmareverse: “I’m just very amused by five-year-old humor. Don’t get me wrong: I do destroy men on a weekly basis. It’s like a hobby. I’m like a praying mantis. They f–k me, and then I eat them. But who isn’t amused by a giant, dancing penis? Sometimes when I’m sad, I make my assistant put on the penis outfit and bounce around my house.” (Elsewhere: “I have bigger balls than a lot of the men that I meet.” The most interesting thing about all this, actually, is that every gender-related word from, oh, Beyonce gets microanalyzed, but when Ke$ha says stuff about 100 times more blatant, no one ever acts shocked. She’s clearly joking here, but still!)

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