It’s been roughly two weeks since you last saw big sweaty men hit each other repeatedly on national television. For those who haven’t been meticulously following the Giants or Patriots’ seasons, and don’t live in the New England or New York regions where the right kind of upbringing ingrains a strict devotion to your local football team early on, you’ll need something to base your allegiance on come Sunday. If you’re not immediately drawn to either starting quarterback or the storied histories of each of their franchises, perhaps the homemade music videos by their fans will help ease your decision making process? Because obviously the most dominant athletes attract the most musically gifted fans. Below, our rundown of what could be the starting lineup for your Super Bowl playlist, plus the best line of trash talking from each song to help quiet the resident heckler at your party.
NEW YORK GIANTS: “G-MEN ARE BACK AGAIN” — MISSY MODELL
Women who are into football are totally cool—thank you kindly, self—and circles of ladies losing their minds to Rihanna are inescapable between the hours of 10 and 2 on Friday and Saturday nights. Put the two together, and you have the best pre-game dance party we’ve ever experienced. Set to the intoxicating sounds of “We Found Love,” Modell uses her connections to hold court in front of infamous Plaza Hotel, wearing an Eli Manning jersey and singing about how great it feels for Big Blue to return to the championship game.
Talkin’ trash: “Why does Brady wear UGGs for men?” Good question.
“SPEND IT (REMIX)” — TED SMOOTH
New York radio station Hot 97 delivers support for their local squad with a remix of “Spend It” by 2 Chainz, that celebrates, above all else, Eli Manning’s ability to connect with his numerous receivers. All of New York can’t make the trip to Indianapolis, but they can surely “get crazy” from the comfort of their own homes—and break out a few of Victor Cruz’s salsa moves.
Talkin’ trash: “The Giants run the league, ought to make people believers / Got the best quarterback and the best wide receivers”
“TRACK CITY” — LOUIE C
This homemade anthem kicks off with announcer Joe Buck welcoming the Giants back to the Super Bowl, before the bass of Tyga’s “Rack City” (timely!) works to introduce a little guy known as Louie C dancing in front of a brick wall—yet another thing Madonna has in common with the Giants and their constituents. Repetitive to the point of insanity, the chorus (“We in the Super Bowl/ Giants in the Super Bowl”) leaves anyone in the tri-state area and parts of Pennsylvania with no excuse not to know who is playing on Sunday. As a bonus, this song comes with free dance moves you can bring to your various watch parties.
Talkin’ trash: “Halftime Brady looking all cut up, he don’t remember the last time he saw us / G-Men over Pats no it can’t be, tell that to my dude, Chris Canty!”
“WE ARE CHAMPS” — 3RD INFINTRY, COVERED BY CEDAR CREST RETIREMENT HOME
The Cedar Crest Retirement Home borrow 3rd Infintry’s ode to champions past and present to prove that Giants’ fandom knows no age. Whether on the road to Indy in an MS Paint constructed RV, or sitting in the communal TV lounge, this bunch is rowdy and ready for a fight. You don’t drop a mike for nothing.
Talkin’ trash: “Jet fans, they envy / You see Victor Cruz in a Benz-y,” is probably directed at the wrong opponent—Gang Green already has enough work to do—but it’ll do.
For the songs that get the people of Massachusetts & beyond fired up, click NEXT.