We pity the fools who thought that Denver Broncos’ elimination from the NFL playoffs would put an end to Tim Tebow’s media ubiquity. There are celebrity girlfriends to dream up and future children to start imagining! That’s enough for at a full off-season of mindless pandering, lest he quickly Josh McDaniels-himself out of Mile High or publicly criticizes Saint Elway before training camp. Aside from on-field miracles, the greatest gift Young Tim has given our culture is the inspiration for multiple musical parodies. All of them. John Legend is the latest—and perhaps the latest—to join in on the fun, performing “Extra-Ordinary Tebow” on ESPN’s First Take on Wednesday. Seated at the piano, he twinkled his way across the tune of his breakout hit “Ordinary People,” while ruminating on the Chosen One and his abilities and sticking it to doubters Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith. But Legend’s praise did not come without a few pieces of advice: deny Kim K. advances and TV ballroom dances. If only everyone had a Fairy Godfather preaching this wisdom, Celebrity Rehab would not exist. Watch below.