We can learn many things from the many promo clips the Grammys are sending to Television. First, we can learn that the Grammys exist, will be televised and will contain famous musicians, a lesson useful for everyone who knows nothing about the music world. But even those who read articles about the Grammys because they are in fact familiar with the Grammys can make use of these clips! They’re full of lessons. For instance:
LL COOL J AND NICKI MINAJ: When flirting with a guy, it’s bad form to remind him of your infancy. But playing “Super Bass” immediately afterward will redeem anything.
ADELE: You can, in fact, set fire to the rain. It just requires having Adele’s voice.
BON IVER: Justin Vernon is composed of millions of tiny particles of earthy debris. They are realer than your body’s particles will ever be.
FOO FIGHTERS: The Foo Fighters will rock your crystal faces off.
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SKRILLEX: Stereogum says this exists, but Google, YouTube, and Vimeo searches say it does not. This is the one we most wanted to see, because there is no way it won’t be the funniest. Damn it. Lesson learned: the Internet news cycle is cruel. We’ll be over here, by our mirrors, flipping all our hair to the side and playing air sequencer and pretending what we’re watching is a video.