Posted by Emily Exton on 01/27/2012 at 8:45 AM Videos

The Popdust Files: david guetta, nicki minaj, spoiler alert, Turn Me On, video previews

With increasing frequency, artists are taking to social networks and premiering frustratingly brief teaser clips from their upcoming videos. These are usually between zero and 45 seconds in length and tend to do two things: leave you wanting more video, and leave you wanting fewer teasers. We can’t address the latter. What we can do, however, is help with the former, so, based solely on the preview, Popdust will miraculously predict what transpires in the unseen full-length video.

Today’s video teaser: David Guetta featuring Nicki Minaj, “Turn Me On”

Run-length: 42 seconds.

Summary: Twas a dark and damp night in an anonymous European city, and Dr. Steampunk Guetta is hard at work in his laboratory crafting beats and new collaborators. A lifeless Nicki Minaj lays on his table, still waiting to be fully animated—save for her eyes—while anonymous, menacing footsteps extend upon them carrying the a threat of violence. Like Bomont, these townspeople do not like dance music.

What could come next: Nicki will be brought to life solely to challenge those who criticize her vocal abilities and eccentric fashion choices. Despite the angry mob that congregates outside his gate, Guetta will stay silent—he traded the gift of speech for the chance to make fist-pumping favorites that drunken co-eds will dance to all night long—and holed up in his lab, while his dutiful soldier helps blaze the trail for more like-minded dance hits in the future. And the right to wear and grind upon whomever she chooses. The only woman left after the gratuitous bloodshed, her newly established province will make good use of fried chicken as a wardrobe accessory and nutritious meal. A modern day heroine if there ever was one.