It’s a rare day when Bon Iver provides the pop world enough material to put out a briefs column, but it’s also not every day that we get to post about Wilco and Popeye and Disney and Joy Division at once, so some planet is probably retrograde someplace in the indie universe. Also, these involve the Grammys–which we’re tasked to cover in intense depth–and Bon Jovi, who we just can’t not cover, so let’s get to it!
First, Bon Iver has been spotted in a winterized promo poster for the Grammy Awards, four nominations at which are his. Ah, but what about that quote from the New York Times where he called the awards unimportant and the ceremony overfilled with pomp and pop? Fair. Everything gains importance when you can stare off into the horizon while twanging snowflakes off your guitar until you’re blue in the face. It’s art!
Next: BONJOVIVER! That is, “You Give Love a Bad Name” made slow by Miracles of Modern Science, with flurries of falsetto and harmonies built up like snowdrifts, plus Bon Jovi you guys. It’s good fun, and it smartly knows how long this joke stays funny (one chorus and one chorus only), but it’s also the exact opposite of what it could have been. Infinitely more replayable would’ve been a Bon Iver song cranked to full Bon Jovi blast. Internet, this is your homework.