Artists don’t tend to get under pop website Idolator‘s craw very easily, but they’re taking it to young Lana Del Rey today, and not entirely without reason. Lana recently gave an interview with FUSE where, fittingly given her recent SNL debacle, she talked about her live show. To her credit, Lana didn’t make excuses for her lackluster stage presence to date—but less to her credit, she didn’t seem to hold herself all that accountable for it, either. The blog takes issue with three LDR quotes in particular:
- “I think like, the people who have been listening to my music for a little while know that I’m more of a writer and, like, a studio singer. So I think if you come to the show, you just come to hear the songs on the record that you might like.”
- “Sometimes I feel less nervous than other times. I don’t love live television. The only tip I have is just pray and just hope that things work out.”
- “You can’t expect too much from my show.”
Again, minimal snaps to Lana for not being all “WTF are people talking about? I murk that shit on stage!” But then again, maybe pretending to give a shit about whether or not her live performances suck wouldn’t be the worst idea—some day not that long from now, Lana will, in all likelihood, be playing gigs in front of paying fans, and if she still sucks at that point, they’d probably hope for a more satisfying explanation than “You can’t expect too much from my show.”
So, fine, Lana admits that she can’t get it done love. The good news for her: Like a good jump shot or a putting game, her live performance skills can be honed and perfected with time and repetition. Here are some base-level suggestions we’d make for ol’ girl to help her get her sea legs:
- Keep the mic in its stand for now. Trust us—if you don’t know what to do with it yet, it’s best to just leave it where it is.
- Ditch the dresses for t-shirts and jeans. And make sure the t-shirts have a sloganeering bent to them that make your performances seem like vague political statements of some sort.
- Eye contact, eye contact, eye contact. Ever see the “Walk Like an Egyptian” video, Lana? The Bangles weren’t topping charts left and right by accident.
- Maybe break down crying every now and then? It worked for Cat Power, and it’s a good emergency safety valve in case things aren’t otherwise going so hot.
- Three words: Spoken-Word Monologues. Or is that two words with a dash? We can never remember how that works.