Those of you who spend as much time on the Internet as we do might be familiar with a certain term: “flouncing.” For those of you who aren’t:
When a member of an online community announces they are leaving, usually after a protracted disagreement with other members of the community.
In other words: deleting an account, usually after screwing up somehow, and making some kind of scene about it. There, kids, that’s your Internet 101 for the day! We teach you this lesson because acoustic musician and John Mayer is an inveterate flouncer. By our count, he’s now done it three times. Here’s a timeline:
2008: Deletes his blog and replaces it with a gussied-up Helvetica pic reading “Done & Dusted & Self Conscious & Back to Work” and a quote from French military writer Charles Jean Jacques Joseph Ardant du Picq: “There is danger in theoretical speculation of battle, in prejudice, in false reasoning, in pride, in braggadocio. There is one safe resource, the return to nature…” The “n” in “speculation” linked to a really shady-looking time travel forum.
CRIMES: Pseudo-intellectualism; comparing his blogging to military strategy; gratuitous trendy typefaces.
2010: Deletes his 3.7 million follower-strong Twitter, @johncmayer. The official story was that he didn’t need to promote his Battle Studies tour anymore, but the deletion came a few months after a still mind-bogglingly ridiculous interview in Playboy. He posted on his Tumblr about deleting his Twitter, with little in the way of explanation besides a few numbers stitched together and “I think I made the right move.”
CRIMES: Fundamentally misunderstanding Twitter; coyness; the entirety of that interview.
2012: Deletes said Tumblr after making fun of Instagram, specifically altering iconic photos and the Beatles’ also-iconic Abbey Road cover to appear more aged and vintage. Apparently this was controversial, on some Internet-invisible level? Tumblr’s got not much of it but (irony ahoy) Instagrammed photos of John Mayer and this quote: “John, whenever you’re drunk, forget about Instagram. Go straight to Ustream!”
CRIMES: None, really. I mean, making fun of Instagram filters isn’t the most original of jokes, but it’s also a much-needed service. This probably ranked in the top 50% of things John Mayer has ever said.
So there you have it: more information than you ever needed about this ongoing habit of Mayer’s. We only speak with mild chiding, and yes, it’s a slow news month, we’re aware.
Also: We’d like to thank the ever-vigilant folks at Spin for bringing this to our attention, and for suggesting the perfect closing song: “My Stupid Mouth.” (That wasn’t our insult; it’s his own. We are simply relaying it. Listen below and you’ll see.)