Posted by Katherine St Asaph on 12/21/2011 at 3:57 PM News

The Popdust Files: r. kelly, trapped in the closet

There are two kinds of people in the world. There are people who think R. Kelly’s serialized song-soap “Trapped in the Closet” is the worst thing to happen to music, and there are the people who think it’s demented genius. Conveniently for R. Kelly, both sets of people have been known to compulsively watch the whole ongoing saga (now up to 22 chapters) video after video, sudden cliffhanger after ridiculous revelation. And group one never exactly killed its popularity–part one even charted. Pretty high, too.

We can safely say, then, that both sides might be in luck, as R said he’s written 32 more chapters. 32! That’s two to the fifth power! Problem is, R. Kelly can’t record them without money. This partially explains that theme cruise, and we’re sure dude has lots of legal bills to pay off and not a blockbuster career right at the moment, but wow, is it sad that someone of R. Kelly’s longevity and stature has to essentially solicit patrons to release more installments of this thing.

Which brings it to you, readers: are you going to withhold more than 100% more “Trapped in the Closet”? Are you going to be the one who denies the world knowledge of what happened to The Package? Are you willing to know that it might’ve been you responsible for it falling short? Think on that; we’ve embedded a whole wodge of chapters below so you know what’s at stake..