While Nickelback have been taking it on the chin an awful lot lately from all corners, the most centralized outpouring of Nickelbacklash in recent days has come from the smart alecky city of Detroit—specifically, its football fans, many of whom who want not to see the Canadian rockers play the halftime show at the Lions’ Thanksgiving game against the Green Bay Packers. Of course, like so many kvetchers, these protesters failed to propose a reasonable alternative plan of action, a practical solution as to who should fill the void presumably to left by Nickelback if they were successfully ousted from the Lions’ Turkey Day plans.
Enter Mayor Hawthorne. The Michigan-bred soul singer/writer/producer/do-everything-guy, born Andrew Mayer Cohen, took to Rolling Stone today to announce his plan to perform an alternative halftime show on the magazine’s website, at the same time of Nickelback’s nationally televised gig at Ford Field. “You want a halftime show and we’re gonna give you one, right here from my parents’ house in Michigan,” the Mayor promised by video. “And my Dad’s even gonna play bass, how about that?” (Governor Hawthorne? Cool.) Hawthorne elaborated further to the magazine about his setlist: “I’m gonna play a short medley of favorites and some songs especially for Detroit.” (“Ain’t Too Proud to Beg”? “Search and Destroy”? “Ass Like That”?)
Whatever Hawthorne ends up playing and however he sounds, you know what we’re most looking forward to—the FOX Football crew’s post-halftime-show debate about whose performance was better. “I gotta go with Nickelback, Curt,” Jimmy Johnson’ll say. “That Hawthorne fella was grand, just grand, but what was the deal with those glasses? And where was all the pyro? You play a halftime show, you gotta have some explosions, Curt, true now as it was back in my day. I’m going with them Canucks.”