Give New York’s Power 105.1 DJ Charlemagne da God some credit for this—he is definitely not too intimidated by Justin Bieber to be anything but his normal charming self. Most radio DJs seem in such slackjawed awe of just how firmly The Bieb appears to have life by the balls that they avoid doing anything but soft-pedaling questions that double as gushing compliments. When The Bieb stopped by the Power 105 studios this morning, however, to talk Under the Mistletoe and drop a little 2Pac a capella freestyling (“I Ain’t Mad at Cha“!) Charlemagne remained intent on treating The Bieb as he’d treat any other 17-year-old Canadian houseguest–with crude, obnoxious and patronizing advice about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Some of the choicer chestnuts:
- On Bieber’s Staples Center date with Selena Gomez: “Don’t do that again, Justin. You don’t gotta trick that hard. You’re Justin Bieber. These chicks, no matter who the chick is, should just be happy to be with you. Take ‘em to In-N-Out Burger and a hotel and that’s it.”
- On Bieber taking advantage of his youth: “You’re at that age when you can get away with some slick, perverted stuff if you wanted to. Like little feels, here and there…”
- On Bieber’s cultural dalliances: “Don’t get too black on us, Justin. All the money is what you doing right now. This is the invites to the White House, what you doing right now. Don’t let them get you caught up in this urban market, please.”
- On rooting for the Bieber rumors to be true: “I never believed the story about the baby mama, but I’m not gonna lie—when I heard it, I was like, ‘Yo, Justin’s my guy.’” Coz they was like, ‘Yo, he said he didn’t wanna wear a condom, ‘coz he wanted to feel it.’ When I was that age, I was the same way!..I mean, unprotected sex isn’t the safest, but it feels better. You’ll realize that soon enough.”
- On why Bieber should eschew monogamy: “You gotta have at least three or four girlfriends…let me tell you something, God created a thing called variety. That’s why there’s more than one fruit. That’s why you got grapes, oranges, apples…and that’s why you got so many different women out here. He wants you to partake. He wants you to indulge. Trust me.”
Bieber keeps a relatively brave face and good attitude throughout the interview, but for the first time in what seems like forever, he also seems a little flustered, hopelessly out of his depth, and kinda…well, uncool. Not that we hold it against him, though—it’s actually a little refreshing to see that The Bieb has a little residual awkwardness left in him. Human after all, it would appear.