“I’m gonna try to focus on singing rather than running around like an idiot,” Axl Rose led off his band’s two-hours-late performance in Rio last night. “I’m better at being an idiot. We want everybody to be careful.” Maybe he should’ve stuck to the idiocy, since it turns out that a stationary Axl Rose is kind of a weird and disturbing Axl Rose. Of course, it probably doesn’t help that his voice isn’t exactly what it used to be (“caterwauled like a strangled cat” is how Sydney station Triple M put it), and it definitely doesn’t help that he’s dressed like Prince going as Inspector Gadget for Halloween. But suffice to say, “Welcome to the Jungle” definitely isn’t as exciting and visceral when sung by an overweight stationary bicycle out of a Carmen Sandiego nightmare. Watch it and weep.