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Kanye West: The Musical

Posted by Andrew Unterberger on 08/23/2011 at 5:03 PM News

The Popdust Files: kanye west, upcoming musical

It was only a matter of time. Kanye West, he of the utmost theatricality both in performance and life, is getting a musical devoted to his story. So far, the production is strictly Off-Broadway—as in really, really Off-Broadway, like a couple continents over—but from the Facebook page set up by Phillip Roser and Damien Higginbotham of Sydney University, the production looks promising. “The Musical draws from actual event in his life but it is not a biographical rendition of Kanye’s life,” reads the page. “This is a comedy, it won’t let the truth get in the way and will be a lot of fun.”

We’re excited, certainly, and though the chances of our attendance are slim, we were able to secure a sneak peek at the playbill through our psychic, future-predicting sources. Here’s the list of songs in the musical, as well as a brief description of the roles they play in the story:

ACT ONE:

“A Big, Bright, Shining Star”—Big opening number, sung by Donda West upon her son Kanye’s birth.
“If Only I Could Be”—Young Kanye sees an early concert from Jay-Z, and instantly figures out exactly who and what wants to be.
“Straighten Up, Fly Right”—Sung by the Dean of Chicago State university, trying to tell an unmoved Kanye how to live his life.
“What You Want From Me, Huh?”—Kanye grows frustrated with his struggles in the music biz, and haters trying to tell him to give it up.
“The Night Chicago Lived”—Kanye finally gets to meet his idol, with Jay-Z accepting one of ‘Yeezy’s beats for his Blueprint album. Ends with a hint of the opening strains of “Izzo (H.O.V.A.).”
“Rappers on My Dick”—Kanye’s career blows up, with hip-hop icons coming out of the woodwork to request his beats. Features sycophantic guest verses from Nas, T.I. and Ludacris.
“Hlmpfmhphfm”—The tear-jerking act one closing number, sung by a post-car crash Kanye West from the operating table as his jaw gets wired shut.

-INTERMISSION-

ACT TWO:

“Me, That’s Who”—Kanye releases debut album College Dropout to great acclaim and commercial success, establishing himself as one of the biggest rappers in the game.
“Burn This Motherfucker Down”—An incensed Kanye overreacts to losing the Best New Artist award at the 2004 AMAs in the bathroom of the Shrine Auditorium.
“What Was I Supposed to Do?“—Mike Myers pleads for understanding after Kanye’s actions take him by surprise at a Hurricane Katrina relief drive.
“Killer Robots From Outer Space”—Kanye has his first eye-opening experience with hallucinogens backstage during the Glow in the Dark Tour. Daft Punk guest.
“Bitch in the Video”—While watching MTV, Kanye notices an unusual-looking, short-haired vixen dancing alongside Ludacris, and decides that she must be his.
“Why Me, Oh Lord?”—Kanye prays to understand his victimization after an incident with Taylor Swift at the 2009 VMAs.
“Look Away, Beyoncé”—A conflicted Kanye concludes that his growing crush on his best friend’s celebrity wife will only lead to trouble for all involved.
“One Day, They’ll Understand”—Kanye achieves something close to inner peace as he realizes that while certain actions and events in his life have initially been met with controversy, in time, all will come around to his way of thinking. The entire cast shows up and links hand for the final chorus: “Try and try but they just won’t see / Maybe they was never really ready for me / Don’t fret no more, hold my head in my hands / One day, I know, they’ll understand.”