Scenario time! You’re somebody familiar with Rick Ross, who knows that his background as a prison guard has caused him no end of authenticity issues (although not as many lately.) You hear Kreayshawn, famous for “Gucci Gucci” then for feuding with the entire hip hop world, do a freestyle that even MTV called a “less than stellar display” that contains the following line: “You tryin’ to play me like a boss? You faker than Rick Ross.” You might come to the conclusion that Kreayshawn just insulted Rick Ross. But you’d be wrong! See, Kreayshawn explained the entire thing to MTV:
“I’m not like a person to go against anyone or anything. So hey, no offense to you Rick Ross. There’s no Rick Ross offensive things going on in there, even though it sounds like it.”
Sigh. Do we really have to? Fine.
1) People, things and nouns Kreayshawn has gone against: “basic bitches,” “rich whores,” people who take issues with her saying things like “just being white, it’s hard,” people who take issues with her white cohorts’ use of the N-word, Nicki Minaj until she backpedaled.
2) “No offense” is what people say right before or after they offend people.
3) “There’s no offensive things going on in there, even though it sounds like it” is the worst apology/excuse we’ve heard in ages, which includes the contributions of politicians, advertising campaigns and elementary schoolers. It quacks, it walks, it’s made of feathers and skin over duck organs, but it’s not a duck! Even a “I spoke without thinking” would be better–she did say she was “just trying to make words rhyme,” which is kind of the absolute minimum here, so we’re still not convinced.
In summary: Look. Look. We’re not categorically against Kreayshawn having a career. But she’s going to have to justify it, and this does not cut it. Enough with the “hopefully things will turn up,” no awards-show appearances, no mysteriously vanished RHCP videos, no smiling and nodding after controversy number thirty-three. How about a decent song, or music video, or something? Anything? Please?