Miley Cyrus And Marc Anthony: Why You Shouldn’t Get Tattoos
Posted by Newson 08/01/2011 at 1:33 PM
You know how everyone complains how the media only reports on the bad stuff and should instead focus on happy stuff, like garage sales and birthdays instead of the debt ceiling? With tattoos, it’s actually legit. Look at any musician’s arms or chest (we do not endorse looking elsewhere) and you’ll find plenty of non-noteworthy tattoos, but when there’s news, it’s about ice cream cones or Facebook logos or creepy Chris Brown smileys. In other words, bad ideas. And now–in one day!–we can thank Miley Cyrus and Marc Anthony for demonstrating two other categories of bad tattoo protocol:
THE UTTER OBSCURITY:
Miley Cyrus, well-known for her Twit-politics, has jumped mediums! No longer will she demonstrate her (laudable, don’t get us wrong) support for gay rights via text alone. No, the message can only be demonstrated by… an equals sign on her finger. Completely clear! Why, any jerk whose bigoted eyes alight on Miley’s mathematically adorned finger will have all his prejudices canceled out and his mental equations balanced until there’s only tolerance. Never mind the fact that it just as easily looks like Miley accidentally stapled herself, or got a bug bite, or decided to doodle on her hand alongside the heart, or really wants to support girls going into math, or just likes algebra. No, two slivers of ink will accomplish ten times what the world’s pop-up chapels or civil rights demonstrations ever could. Q.E.D.
THE BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND’S NAME:
Meanwhile, Marc Anthony–if gossip is to be believed, which, y’know–is proving what common sense has proven hundreds of times before: tattoos are permanent, and most relationships aren’t. Getting a tattoo of your partner means you’ve got either meaningless ink, pots full of concealer or tattoo-removal pain in your future, none of which are particularly positive. Sure, it seems romantic to do something so permanent for the one you love, but problem is, when that permanence becomes an issue, the relationship’s already over so they won’t care. You should go for something less obvious. Like an equals sign.
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